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Coming out at the age of 14, starting an affair with a woman more than twice her age at 17 and writing an autobiography at 91 – Britain’s oldest lesbian Jo Monk talks to Lesbilicious.

Jo Monk has been an inspiration to many lesbians, both in her home town in Devon and throughout the country, for many years.

The feisty 91-year-old has been a proud lesbian since the age of just 14 and has first-hand experience of the struggle for the life so many people today take for granted.

Born Joan Margaret in Hampstead, London in 1917 to an Irish single mother, Jo – as she prefers to be known – spent her formative years at a convent boarding school in Hertfordshire.

It was when she reached the age of 10 that Jo realised she felt differently about some girls than what was then considered normal.

“From the age of 10 to 14, I didn’t know myself,” she says. “I worried - I thought I was the only one. If only I’d only known there were plenty of people I could have talked to.”

Life-changing friendship

Confused about her sexuality, she dedicated her time to dancing and playing the piano.

But at 14-and-a-half, a depressed and lonely Jo formed a life-changing friendship with a fellow pupil several years older.

“She had been watching me and she knew exactly what I was going through because she’d been through it herself,” Jo says. “She was determined that I wasn’t going to suffer any more.

“She made me talk to her and tell her what I was worried about. She said there were plenty of people who feel the same way. I discovered my true sexuality.

“Then somebody at school said ‘You know what they call people like us? Lesbians’. I never knew there was such a thing.

“The word lesbian sounded so exotic. I thought ‘I’m a person, I’ve got a title, I’m not just a misfit’. I belonged to a group of people that had a name.

“I was so proud I wanted to go and tell everyone.

“Old enough to be my mother”

After leaving school, Jo got a job as a trainee telephonist in London at 17. Taking a call one day, she was enthralled by a spellbinding voice and vowed to meet the owner. They met for coffee.

At 39 to Jo’s then 17, Jo describes Mai as “old enough to be my mother”.

“She became my mentor. When I went out on the scene, I was so proud of myself.

However, well aware of rampant prejudice of the time, Mai stopped Jo from revealing their relationship to the world.

Lesbianism was not a crime because Queen Victoria did not believe two women could have a sexual relationship.

“Little did she know,” Jo chuckles.

“The social scene was furtive,” she adds. “There were people that were ready to whack you if you looked at anybody for too long or if they saw you holding hands.

“In those days, you were likely to get rotten eggs and tomatoes chucked at your back.

“If you were in trouble because somebody had thrown something at you, it was no good telling a policeman because they’d say ‘she’s only a lesbian’ and for the men, they’d say ‘he’s gay, isn’t he’. The boys suffered terribly.

“If you went into a bar, they’d trip you up or upset drinks over you.”

After about a year, Jo tired of her relationship with Mai, but the two remained good friends for many years.

“The first time my mother saw me in them she nearly had a fit”

Ever-stylish, Jo refused to let her fashion sense be limited by the restrictions of the day.

“Most women didn’t wear trousers in those days, but I did,” she says.

“We weren’t allowed to wear trousers to the office. Burton’s used to have a tailor and I would have skirt suits made there. I used to pay them an extra 10 bob so I’d get trousers as well.

“I’d wear a skirt to work and change into the trousers afterwards. The first time my mother saw me in them she nearly had a fit.”

Jo says her mother gradually accepted she was a lesbian when she found a love letter the then 20-year-old Jo had received. “But she was angry to start with,” Jo says.

In 1951, Jo moved to Devon at the age of 34 with her partner, who died after eight years together.

“Don’t worry about other people”

Jo now lives in Plymouth and is an active member of the local LGBT group Plymouth Pride Forum. She recently gave a talk on what life was like for lesbians and gay men in the 1940s and 50s.

Now Jo is writing an autobiography chronicling her life which, she laughs, she hopes to finish before she dies.

And her advice for lesbians today? “Go ahead and enjoy your lives, be true to yourselves and don’t worry about other people.”

Wise words from an inspirational lady.

by Jane Omara

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