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The UK’s next general election is in less than a month’s time, writes Kim Renfrew. So which party will be most likely to stand up for your rights as a lesbian or bisexual woman?

Here’s a cut out ‘n’ keep guide to the major (and a couple of minor) parties’ take on LGBT matters, in terms of representation, policy and numbers. And on 7 May, you can always use it to play top trumps.

The klaxon has sounded. The battle lines are drawn. The general election – the most important since 1997 - is taking place on 6 May 2010 and the parties are clambering over each other to get our Xes in their boxes.

So what’s in it for lesbians? In terms of parliamentary representation, not much. The depressing fact is that in the entire history of elected UK government, there have two out-lesbian MPs: Maureen Colquhoun, who came out in 1976, and Angela Eagle, who came out in 1997. That averages out as one for, oooh, every 367-and-a-half years. (Gay men weigh in with 13 by comparison. Not quite the numbers to form a gay mafia, but still enough for there to be at least one you’ve never heard of.)

This year, thankfully, things will be a teensy bit more lively. In March, the Conservative Party released a ‘rainbow list’ of gay and lesbian (singular) prospective parliamentary candidates (PPCs), while Hampstead and Kilburn will witness a highly unusual dyke-on-dyke clash as independent Tamsin Omond (environmental campaigner and daughter of a baronet; social climbing lesbians, please form an orderly queue) takes on formidable author and social commentator , standing for the Greens. We’ve never seen the likes before!

Although considerable reform has been achieved since 1997, there is still work to do. On the Equal Pay Act, for example. Although passed forty years ago, women’s wages are still only 80% of men’s, so if you live in a two-lesbian household, you’re doubly damned. Then there’s the two-tier marriage system, problems with homophobic bullying in schools, religious opt-outs in equality law and a whole host of other tweaks to make legislation fully LGBT friendly.

Political top trumps

Conservatives

Name: Conservatives
AKA: The nasty party; the next government.
Slogan: “Vote for change”.
Official policy on LGBT matters: Recently, the Tories have been tumbling over themselves to court the LGBT vote. Leader David Cameron has apologised for Section 28 and grandees have expressed regret at the party’s anti-gay policies of yore. The about-face is fairly recent, though. Cameron voted against Section 28’s repeal in 2003. He also voted against the adoption bill in 2002 and the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill in 2008.
In their favour… Cameron has said that he doesn’t distinguish between marriages and civil partnerships: “As far as I was concerned it didn’t matter whether it was between a man and a woman, a man and a man or a woman and a woman”.
Any gaffes? “Many gaffes” more like. Cameron dropped a gay reference from his pre-election speech; Chris Grayling said B&B owners should be allowed to discriminate against gays; Cameron never seems to know his party’s LGBT voting record…
Number of out lesbian and gay MPs: 3 (men)
Number of lesbian or gay PPCs: 20 – including one lesbian. An all time record for the party.
Mentions of “lesbian” on website: 1 (in an equal opps monitoring form). Dedicated Tory Campaign for Homosexual Equality site (hasn’t been updated since 2004, though) and LGBTory (its founder has said she’s voting Labour though).
Most preposterous reason for giving them your vote: Shadow defence secretary Liam Fox is top showbiz pals with Natalie Imbruglia, and we all fancy her, don’t we?

Labour

Name: Labour
AKA: The likely losers.
Slogan: “A future fair for all.”
Official policy on LGBT matters: Equality for all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual people.
In their favour… The first lesbian MP (Maureen Colquhoun) and first gay male MP (Chris Smith) to come out were Labour; it’s home to the only out lesbian MP; they brought in civil partnerships and kicked out Section 28, equalised age of consent, ended gays in military ban, allowed lesbian and gay couples to adopt, brought in Employment Equality law… all the legislation we now take for granted was brought in after 1997.
Any gaffes? Historically it’s been guilty of anti-gay behaviour – deleselecting Colquhoun and accusing her of “passing herself off as a married woman”. It’s not 100% perfect now: according to Mygayvote.co.uk 5% of MPs were against equal age of consent, 6% against equal adoption and 4% against the equality act.
Number of out lesbian and gay MPs: 8 (1 lesbian)
Number of lesbian or gay PPCs: 27 (3 lesbians)
Mentions of “lesbian” on website: a fair few, including LGBT references in the “Equalities” section, and a dedicated LGBT Labour site.
Most preposterous reason for giving them your vote: You’re hoping to score an invite to one of Gordy’s swish LGBT receptions at No. 10.

Liberal Democrats

Party: Lib Dem
AKA: The Inbetweeners
Slogan: “Change that works for you, building a fairer Britain.”
Official policy on LGBT matters: promises that “no-one shall be enslaved by poverty, ignorance or conformity.”
In their favour… Committed to gay rights in 1975; opposed Section 28 from the start; DELGA, the LGBT equality body, is an official part of the party.
Any gaffes? None recently, but in 1983 Simon Hughes was involved in the homophobic dirty tricks campaign against Peter Tatchell in the infamous Bermondsey by-election. He’s since apologised.
Number of out lesbian and gay MPs: 1 (although Mark Oaten and Simon Hughes have both talked of relationships with men)
Number of lesbian or gay PPCs: Not confirmed.
Mentions of “lesbian” on website: A rather impressive 35. In news, press releases, policies, the lot. Separate DELGA site.
Most preposterous reason for giving them your vote: Because Elton ‘n’ David gave them a £20k liquidity injection.

Green Party

Party: Green Party
AKA: Tree-huggin’ ecowarriors
Slogan: “Fair is worth fighting for.”
Official policy on LGBT matters: Very pro: they even have a separate LGBT manifesto.
In their favour: Britain’s most outspoken, most fearless and most tireless campaigner, Peter Tatchell, is their equality spokesman.
Any gaffes? None.
Number of out lesbian and gay MPs: 0
Number of lesbian or gay PPCs: 5 (including one lesbian).
Mentions of “lesbian” on website: A whopping 113. There’s also a separate LGBTIQ website.
Most preposterous reason for giving them your vote: Because green is one of the key colours of spring/summer 2010 (though we’re calling it “dried herb”).

UK Independence Party

Party: UKIP
AKA: The muscles against Brussels
Slogan: “Straight talking”. (And if ever there was a motto with built in gay-repellent, then this is it.)
Official policy on LGBT matters: The party line is neutrality, but individual members have, variously, said they will ban Pride celebrations in London and compared gay people to paedophiles. Party leader Lord Pearson consistently voted against gay equality. In Europe, MEPs are aligned with the homophobic League of Polish Families.
In their favour… They used to have a lesbian MEP (Nikki Sinclaire).
Any gaffes? See official policy.
Number of out lesbian and gay MPs: 0
Number of lesbian or gay PPCs: Not confirmed. Sinclaire said she knew of 23 (closeted) candidates in the last election.
Mentions of “lesbian” on website: 0
Most preposterous reason for giving them your vote: You can’t stand Belgian chocolate.

British National Party

Party: BNP
AKA: The scary party
Slogan: “Standing up for Great Britain”.
Official policy on LGBT matters: Don’t ask, don’t tell.
In their favour? Er… Leader Nick Griffin said he’s challenged the party’s homophobia, so they won’t make homosexuality illegal again.
Any gaffes? One man’s gaffe is another man’s manifesto. They’d scrap civil partnerships, for starters (it’s part of the left’s war on the family), and they are very much against the ‘promotion of homosexuality’. Or how about this from MEP Andrew Bron’s blog? “The latter two incidents [murder of Matthew Shepard and James Bird in America] got massive publicity in the states. Why so? Because they belong to privileged identity groups. Shepard was homosexual and two men beat him to death for it; Byrd was black and three white supremacists chained him to a truck, and dragged him through the streets of Jasper and beheaded him.”
Mentions of “lesbian” on website: 148.The most positive says “Nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian providing (like being heterosexually straight) it is kept private”.
Number of out lesbian and gay MPs: 0 (though the ex-National Front leader Martin Webster claims to have had a relationship with Nick Griffin in the 1970s)
Number of lesbian or gay PPCs: Not confirmed.
Ridiculous reason you might vote for them: Because you support their policies.

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