Life as a lesbian teacher
September 28th, 2009
Being gay in school is hard enough for the pupils, but what about the teachers? Lesbian schoolteacher Eddie Acorn Edmondson looks at the issue.
Personal questions
“Have you got a boyfriend Miss?” screeches a fifteen year old girl, while she smirks at her best friend at the hilarity of asking ‘Ms’ such a personal question, during my overtly enthusiastic English class.
If you were a lesbian teacher - as I am - what would your answer be?
Would you reveal that you do not indeed have a boyfriend, but a girlfriend and you live together with your cats in matrimonial harmony and are actually rather happy, much like Ellen off of the TV?
Or, would you ignore the question completely and secretly wish - despite the inappropriately timed question - that you could reveal your true sexuality and not hide behind a dark cloud of lesbian embarrassment that shows no sign of blowing over?
In all honesty, most, if not all of us, would lean towards staying in our cozy closet (complete with ‘best teacher’ mug) due to the prevalent homophobia apparent in all schools across the UK.
Being a gay pupil in school and coming to terms with sexuality must be a terribly troubling time. However, what about the gay teachers that find themselves the victims of homophobia in their work place?
Widespread discrimination
The occurrence of homophobia in UK schools is staggering, not only in the classroom but also amongst teaching staff.
In Stonewall’s study, ‘Homophobic bullying in Britain’s schools‘ put together by April Guasp in 2007, statistics revealed that more than two in five secondary school teachers had heard homophobic language or negative comments about gay people from other school staff.
Furthermore, in a 2006 study, statistics from the Teachers Support Network demonstrated that 67% of lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender teachers and lecturers who responded to their survey had experienced harassment or discrimination at work because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
With lesbian teachers immersed in this hostile environment and titillating stories like that of Helen Goddard, the music teacher that had an affair with a female pupil, saturating the UK media; can you blame lesbian teachers for keeping one sensibly dressed foot in the closet at school, whilst merrily swinging the other foot out of the closet - attired in a fetching rainbow sock – as soon as the bell goes?
“My job could be on the line”
I spoke to April Morris, (not her real name) a teacher in an independent school in the London area about her experiences of homophobia.
“The Head at my school is clearly homophobic,” April told me. “He goes on about the family, as in, 2.4 kids type of family being the most important thing in the world. A member of staff that works in the library swore he would never have books there that explore sexuality and homosexuality.
“We also had an openly gay male working at the school, lots of comments were made about not bending over and keeping your back against the wall when he was in the room.”
I asked her if she thought that her sexuality could affect the safety of her job, and April didn’t even have to think twice: “I truly believe my job could be on the line if I was openly gay.”
Unfortunately, April is not alone with this feeling of unease. Lesbian teachers are feeling the burden being ‘out’ for the sakes of their happiness in the workplace and in extreme cases, fear for their jobs, what hope is there for tomorrows generation, both gay and straight, ever being exposed to positive gay role models in school?
Positive role models
Fortunately, not all lesbian teachers have had this negative experience that April has encountered.
There are a number of schools that offer great support for their gay members of staff. Mary Page an assistant head teacher at a school in Norfolk has always been open about her sexuality with pupils and staff.
She describes her experiences as mainly positive and although kids still talk about her sexuality, it has become something of the norm.
This does encourages the idea that with time, encouragement and support, teachers that are boldly coming out at work can provide a positive role model for young people, both gay and straight.
Mary’s experience of being out to both pupils and staff is a rare occurrence, despite lengthy and high profile anti homophobia campaigns being held, homophobia shows no sign of dispersing in our schools.
Homophobic language should not be tolerated in our classrooms or staffrooms and offenders of using such terms need to be punished for their actions.
Back to the classroom
It seems no great surprise that I, like many other lesbian teachers just don’t feel comfortable being fully out at school.
So, as I look around the snivelling pupils in my year 11 class and catch the odd snippet of nonsensical conversations about the picture of the very 80’s looking poet they are studying. I sigh, pull my trouser leg down over my one rainbowed sock and begin teaching the poems of Carole Ann Duffy.
Skilfully interrupted by an awkward question, I casually attempt to camouflage my crimson colour, “Yes, indeed Chelsea, she is one of those lesbians…..” Woefully ignoring the titters of laughter, I tactically change the subject and recoil to my comfy closet, sipping reluctantly from my ‘best teacher’ mug, patiently waiting for the storm to pass.
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At my school there seem to be a lot of lesbian teachers. There are always rumors about their sexuality and who their girlfriends are. Most of the time the orther pupils seem disgusted but I think it’s a good way for me to know what they think about homosexuality in general.
Kampfkueken ∼ September 28th, 2009 9:20 pmBut I’d just LOVE it if one of those Ladies came out to everyone. (I’m quite sure that there is something true about those rumors. My GayDar tells me the same :P) I would know for sure there was someone who I could talk to, who would understand AND who would at least have SOME power in school-things. I can just imagine how happy I would have been when I was 14 years old and questioning my sexuality if there had been a “normal” person, living a “normal” live, happy - because I was scared I would become a total freak. Well, I got that freak, but not because I have changed but because others made me that freak…
But still. Openly homosexual teachers would really be a good thing. I have the feeling that it would help. Really help in all the mess created by realizing you’re a lesbian and thinking you’re all alone. Because then you wouldn’t be.
Dear Eddie,
Hi, i hope you are well and had a good weekend.
Really interesting article, but i have to admit to feeling a little sad after the reading… especially as many of the topics and items mentioned are those i have felt and feel on a regular basis…
Glad to know you have support at home, and i hope within your community and further afield.
For what it’s worth i truly understand how hard it can be to have to make choices you shouldn’t have to, and how not being totally free to be who you are intrinsically is a sad indictment on our supposed ‘liberated and open’ society.
I guess as with many things, there is a genuine desire in some to live and let live, to not rock the apple cart or cause undue attention, even if the need to just ‘be’ is often hugely compelling.
That you are prepared and able to voice such thoughts will (one hopes) at least offer the seed of change in certain quarters…
Thanks for sharing.
Have a beautiful week
Chelsea xx
Chelsea ∼ September 29th, 2009 12:29 pmHi eddie
Thankyou for this amazing post im so glad you have arraised this in the forum!
Bieng a gay teacher myself have encounted many a taunt and increadibly mean and uneccesary comment both from pupils and adult techers!! Incerdible isnt it! We teachers all oppinionated some bieng a little more then others which does have its benifits in staff room debaits however i do not condone the sniley comments made or those looks that make you feel the size of a small pea!! oh ive had the days of hoping that in ant second the hall floor( i teach performing arts) would swallow me whole aaahhhh, and keep me there untill the school bell rings! saldly this did not ever happen and i was left standing like a poor show man that had forgotton his wig with all the puils and teachers laughing at me, wel thats was the way i was made to feel!!..Eddie that all was in a school where minds where not healthy and bien a homosexual was completey frowned apon amd although i loved teaching, going into a workplace and biend made to feel so uncomfortable was terrifying! This is very differnt now as im in a new school, working alongside with other homosexulas, its so amazing to know that evrybody is so open with each other and theres always an ear if you having a bad monday ( after you pupils have spotted you in the city with a female) I just hope that others read your article and think about things a liite ibstead of those narrow coridors they see down!
I dont have alladins majic lamp eddie but i do wish you a super fantastic week and again thankyou for an fanastic Honest article,
Take Care
Verity
Verity ∼ September 29th, 2009 9:00 pmI think you’re right kamp - role models in school both gay and straight are so important, and would give pupils some sort of idea that being homosexual is ok. There is a big debate as to whether teachers should discuss their private life, at all?
Straight teachers are assumed straight and therefore don’t have to come out - whereas gay teachers have to come out of the closet as they will be assumed to be straight (or rumoured about.)
I’ve had taunts of ‘dyke’ as i’ve walked the corridors at my school, to which I’ve reported, and the school didn’t really know what to do about it. If the word was racist, I have no doubt there would have been a whole school assemlby on racism.
I’m waffling - but thanks for all your ideas….
eddie ∼ September 30th, 2009 7:07 pmeddie
Great article Eddie,
One I’m sure that lots of people can relate to and I am sure it goes on in many professions. In mine there is only one colleague who knows about my sexuality!
Tasha
Tasha ∼ September 30th, 2009 7:07 pmhi
i have stumbled across this website whilst i was researching homophobia in the work place for a university report i need to do. i have read this article and thought it was great, generally think this website is good.
anyway thanks
sarah ∼ October 6th, 2009 11:27 pmI just had to respond to this one.
meagain ∼ October 11th, 2009 5:51 pmBeing lesbian and being out at work as a teacher has been liberating. I do understand the fear that many face when even considering such openness. My own decision took 2 years to reach but I made the move and never looked back. Yes, there have been a few whispers and sniggers, (do you know any teacher that have not experienced this for something: bad breath, terrible tie choice etc.) Ok so it goes a bit deeper than that but my own thoughts are that I need to be me so that I can do my job properly and not worry about personal pronouns, being seen out at the weekend or even at the college theatre performance with a ‘friend’.
The decision was not taken lightly but it has had so many benefits. I no longer feel that I am sending the message that it is not ok to be lesbian or gay because it is something I keep secret as if it is something not to be talked about or something shameful. I see being out as being confident in who I am and in being a gay woman just as other teachers proudly convey their heterosexuality by talking about their family or husband. The other beneits have been for the students. Many have applauded me for being so honest. Many have also come out as a direct result of teacher role models. They respect that and they also see that lesbians can look like me, can teach, can be trusted and respected adults who listen and empathise with them. It has also enabled a number of students feel safe enough to follow their own feelings and thoughts knowing that it must be ok if a teacher can be gay then it can’t be so bad. I could discuss this at length but to sum up. Why hide what is normal? Why send messages that it’s a dirty, dark secret to love - whatever gender or orientation you are?
In answer to those who felt their careers or jobs would be on the line - the law is now on your side. Open up the classroom closet and show those poor young things that it really is ok if they are gay too and ok if they are not.
hm…it’s interesting
John ∼ October 15th, 2009 12:51 pmA very interesting read. I am a lesbian who works in a primary school. At my school there is also a gay male teacher. He is out to most and they have no problem with it - after all being gay is ‘fun’ especially when a little campness is added to the mix…I obviously do not share this opinion but believe it is a generalised perception. I on the other hand am out to no-one at school. The other day I overheard a conversation between 2 female members of staff which went something like this…
Vivien ∼ October 18th, 2009 10:38 pmPerson one: “We could be lesbians with the amount of time we’ve spent together recently”
Person two: “I’ve told you before, I’ve got no problem with that as long as there’s no sex involved - that’s just wrong!”
At this point another member of staff chipped in that person two needed to be careful with person one when alone in a room because she might ‘jump’ her! My point is basically this - I think that in predominatley female environments it’s harder for lesbians to be accepted in comparisson to gay men… would love to hear anyone elses thoughts…
Having just ‘come out’ at school its been nice to read the comments and the article. I was asked straight out if i was a lesbian and i said yes before even thinking. I was shocked and scared.
The kids were great about it and havent ever really botherd except for the odd snigger.
The staff…well thats another matter. My HOD and a few collegues knew so they were fine but i find other staff prying for info and its hard to fight off.
The good news is there is one other lesbian at the school who has been very good but alas she is still in the closet at school. Right now i wish i was too.
Little
LittleM ∼ October 19th, 2009 7:03 pmThanks for a great article and some thought-provoking comments. I have been out in the staffroom since about 2 months after I started teaching. I’m now in my second school. I teach 6-13 year olds who (after the age of about 8) use ‘gay’ as a derision of someone’s character. At my first school (I was there for 5 years) where the kids were 9-13 years old, the use of the word ‘gay’ to describe unfair things, stupid comments/actions or effeminate boys was fairly frequent and I used various permutations of the “a chair can’t be ‘gay’/there’s nothing wrong with being gay/what you MEAN is ’stupid’/using the word gay to mean unfair/stupid is offensive to gay people…imagine if I said that’s so ‘black’ when what I really meant was that it was wrong/inferior….etc….”
Catherine ∼ December 8th, 2009 11:28 pmSo whilst I haven’t QUITE managed to bite the bullet and say “I’m gay and I find that disappointing and offensive”, when asked at my new school by two sets of parents about my “partner”, I have not shyed away from saying “she” - and I feel quite proud of myself - but I have to say I would love to think of how to “let it slip” to the kids at some point. Any tips?
(sorry about all the speech marks!)
sorry - forgot to say that when asked (frequently by 11 year old girls!) if I am married/have a boyfriend - I have always said just ‘no’ or “this is a committment ring” (which has generally stopped the conversation dead!)
Catherine ∼ December 8th, 2009 11:30 pmHello Ms Edmonson!
I am writing a short feature for the Times Educational Supplement about coming out as a teacher. Would you consider having a quick chat with me about your experiences?
If so, do call me on 02031943064, or email me!
Thank you for your time.
Rieke Heine ∼ February 2nd, 2010 12:56 pmBest Wishes,
Rieke