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Nothing grabs the attention like seeing a pretty girl on rollerskates crash head-first into a crowd at about a hundred miles an hour. Or to put it another way, welcome to the exhilarating and often dangerous world of rollerderby.

Milly and Cat from Lesbilicious went along to the London Brawling vs Glasgow Irn Bruisers game on Saturday March 29 to see speak to some of the ladies involved and see for ourselves what all the excitement was about. And boy was there excitement….

Rollerderby bouts are deceptively simple-looking. Two teams on rollerskates race around an indoor circuit, scoring points every time the designated point scorer - the ‘jammer’ - overtakes a member of the opposite team. Of course it’s not really that easy. Each team tries to stop the other team’s jammer getting through by blocking or smacking into them, inevitably making some spectacular crashes.

And it’s the crashes that the crowd come for. Well, that and the theatrics. Each rollergirl has a menacing pseudonym – Rose Hypnol, Daisy Pain, Grievous Bodily Charm – which they play up to with snarly tough girl attitudes.

But are London Brawling really such bad-asses beneath all those tattoos, smeared eyeliner and ripped tights?

We spoke to a few of the team after their crushing 163-31 victory over Glasgow Irn Bruisers to find out…

BELLE DEBRAWL

What did you think of the game?
It was good! It was hard-hitting.

You kicked ass…
Thank you! We really tried to take them down, some nice big hits and yeah I think we pulled it off.

Tell us a bit about rollerderby. Is it an American sport?
Yeah, it is. I think it started in the 1930s and it came back in the 70os but more like a show, a spectacle – you know, like WWF on skates, something like that, really show-offy. But it came back again about four or five years ago in the US and it’s been growing. I think there are about 200 teams in the US.

How important is the whole image thing, with the pseudonyms and the get up?
Well it is definitely a serious sport. I was attracted more to the sporting side of it than the look of it, but some girls like that more… put it this way, I would never wear this sort of get-up in my day-to-day!

Can you describe what you’re wearing?
I’m wearing really really short shorts with fishnet stockings and this… shirt… [she laughs, pointing to her artfully torn and rather revealing pink rollergirls tshirt] some boots and knee-high socks.

There seems to be strong feminist / queer / DIY aspect to rollerderby. How important is that to you?
I’m more on the sport side of it than the feminist side of it so I’m not too up with all of that, but I think it is really important. I think it’s great that we run this ourselves and the media can have a positive image - that women can work together, and not be bitchy and catty. I love my LRG girls. They’re like family! When people first told me that it gives you confidence I was like, ‘yeah whatever’ but the girls are so awesome and the environment is so supportive, you don’t feel self-conscious. My self-confidence has definitely grown.

Belle was a charming, delightful rollergirl, but she knew that we had questions that she as a straight girl couldn’t answer, so she pointed us in the direction to some people who could fill us in on the queer side of rollerderby… the very awesome Missyle Elliott and N-emma-si5.

N-EMMA-SI5 AND MISSYLE ELLIOTT

Why do you think that rollerderby is so fascinating to queer ladies?
M: I actually have no idea. I think we’re kind of unusual actually. [Laughs and looks at Nemmesi5] I mean, do you think there are so many lesbians in other teams?

Why, how many lesbians do you have on your team?
M: We’ve got about ten out of… 40? Yeah, that’s probably higher than average!

So are there any inter-team romances?
N: We’re all a bit dull, we all came in with girlfriends, so we have no single people.
M: We have one!
N: Oh yes, we have one. I lied. Poison Arrow. [*correction - Poison Arrow is not single! Bad luck everyone.] She was injured, that’s the reason why she wasn’t playing today. Normally she’s right up there, she’s a really good team member.
M: When we’re split into teams, the couples always go together, so that we don’t have to hit each other.
N: Everybody else is like ‘oh no I can’t hit my partner, I can’t’. But I hit my girlfriend the hardest. She’s the one that gets it. And she hits me too! The first time she hit me she knocked me over and I felt like I’d had my bosoms removed. I was like, oh my god, what are you doing? And she said ‘I’m not going to cut you any flack! Get up.’

Isn’t that’s called domestic violence?!
N: Yeah it is! I think we get it out on the track, then we’re fine. But all the other couples are like ‘are you ok, are you ok?’ Why don’t we have a relationship like that…

London Rollergirls go and train other teams around the country, is that right?
N: Yeah, that’s right. We want it to grow. It’s so huge in the states. Plus we need other people to bout against! This was the first time that we played against other people that weren’t in the LRG squad, and it was wicked. And we won! They [Glasgow] played really well, and really bravely, but it does feel really good to win against someone!
M: When we’ve split up on the two teams, I’ve been on the losing team both times.
N: Basically, whoever is on the team…
M [cutting in, nodding] ..with Correctional Felicity…
N: …wins! She’s bloody brilliant!

See that’s surprising, because from watching the bout it seems that Sky Rockit is a great points scorer…
M: Well the jammers get all the attention, but the blockers are really really important. Correctional is just an amazing blocker. If you’re jamming and she’s in there, she just knocks you right out of the way.
N: She’s a big ol’ lezza as well [laughs]
M: She is amazing. She makes it look like she’s taking a stroll or something. She’ll hit you and then you’ll try to get past her, but she’s always there, you just can’t get away from her.

Why don’t you switch directions at half time so you don’t end up with one super muscley leg?
M: When we practice we go both directions, but at the same time you don’t do it that much as you have to practice for a bout which is always that way [indicates clockwise].
N: Well when it first started Sugar Cane said that she wanted us to go in both directions, but the people we get our skates from said that was ridiculous, because the wheels are actually made to go in one direction.

I thought you wore any old skates!
N: Oh no, they’re special! They’re expensive.
M: There’s all sorts of special stuff you can spend all your money on.

So why rollerskates? Why not rollerblades?
N: They’re much more stable. You can go faster on rollerblades, but if someone hits you, you go down. Skates are fairly stable already.

There was a dislocated shoulder in the bout today which was pretty nasty. What’s the worst injury you’ve seen?
M: Did you see Ana Ki, who was there but didn’t play today? She broke her leg at the last bout. She broke through all the bones in her leg, and now she has a titanium rod in there. They couldn’t set it as there were no bones connecting her foot to her leg. It was a bad fall. But me personally, just bruises.
N: Yeah me too. And hurty tits!
M: [laughs] It’s really bad when you fall on your boobs.
N: And also people hit you in the boob. Which is a totally legal shot, unfortunately enough. Who thought of these bloody rules??

Has it always been an all-female sport?
M: No in the old days it was co-ed, but the current revival is basically women.

Why do you think it’s so popular? Is it the sight of girls in hotpants..?
N: Yeah well that gets the crowds in, there’s no getting away from it, but it’s a genuine sport, it takes really sportswomanship to do it.
M: Yeah that kinda stuff gets the attention, but you’re not going to keep coming just for that. People really get into the game.
N: it is a really exciting game for the crowd to see. I had to drag my friends down at first, they came out of sympathy, and then they came out saying ‘Ohmygod it’s brilliant! When’s the next one? When’s the next one?’

So what’s the future? Should we be expecting rollerderby in the 2012 Olympics?
N: Well if they have synchronised swimming they can bloody have rollerderby!

And as if that wasn’t enough roller-action, hold tight for a short video of some of the bout battles and a few words of wisdom from London and Glasgow players… coming to Lesbilicious very soon! (ie when Cat’s finished editing it) Video of the rollerderby action now up!

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