Why do lesbians love gay man porn?
October 1st, 2008
Warning: this article contains pictures which - while artfully censored with cupcakes - may not be suitable for viewing at work.
There’s a guilty secret in the lesbian community.
Tell your friends or lovers and you’ll risk being ridiculed, disbelieved and shunned. But sometimes, just sometimes, you’ll get the same confession back, a whispered admission of the lust that dare not speak its name.
So no more secrets, no more shame. It’s time to face the issue of why lesbians love gay man porn.
Not everyone loves pornography, of course. For some people it’s embarrassing, disgusting, offensive or just plain boring. But for everyone else, there’s every possible kind of sex you can imagine. Indeed, according to Rule 34 of the internet: ‘if you can imagine it, there is porn of it’. And yet, in this sticky mess of humping, grinding, throbbing and quivering, many lesbians seem to purposefully ignore lesbian porn and go straight for the man-on-man action instead. What’s going on?
Bad lesbian porn
The first problem in watching lesbian porn is that the vast majority of it is painfully straight, and not at all meant for lesbians. It’s not so much the hair extensions, fake breasts or bored expressions that give it away; more like the long, scraping fingernails. Oh wait, one more clue – the ubiquitous dude who’s enthusiastically welcomed in to give the girls what they’ve been missing.
Watching your sexual identity being simultaneously misrepresented and belittled is not sexy. Neither is spending a too-large proportion of your life having to explain to straight men that yes you’re a lesbian, but contrary to porn expectations, this doesn’t give them a right to watch.
There is genuine lesbian porn made for queer women by queer women, but it’s hard to come by (in the practical sense at least).
Unless you know about queer/feminist sex-positive shops and you’re organised, wealthy and self-aware enough to buy your own, chances are your porn watching will be limited to awful videos belonging to friends, lovers or ex-lovers, late-night TV, or – most likely – whatever free stuff you can find on the internet. And for easily-accessible instant gratification, you can’t go wrong with gay man porn.
‘You can’t fake a hard on’
Of course there’s more reasons to watch gay man porn than sheer laziness. For a start, there’s the visceral impact on knowing that what you see is very much what someone’s about to get. Or, as Caz from Manchester explains, “It’s real – you can’t fake a hard on.”
Caz adds, “Guys really do get off on being in porn films, whereas mostly girls look unconvincing which makes it all a bit sad. And that’s not a turn on.” Porn films aren’t generally noted for their high quality acting skills, so anything that adds to the realism – such as a big boner – can help make up for distractingly awful dialogue, music or plot.
Writers at lesbian website Grace the Spot agree: “With gay male porn, the actors look like they’re having fun and enjoying sex. With all other types of porn, more often than not, it looks contrived, over-acted, unbelievable, ridiculous, or just plain unfun.”
Lack of women is liberating?
But lesbians, by definition, are sexually interested in women and not men. Even lesbians with bisexual leanings might be expected to prefer straight sex than watching muscley men thrusting together. So why do some of us find it hot to watch sex that doesn’t involve any women?
It may at first seem counter-intuitive, but the very fact that there are no women in gay man porn can remove a huge burden for some people. “The fact of female oppression through porn is a massive turn off and it’s hard to be convinced that girls in films are really enjoying themselves,” says Caz. “I find anything sexually aggressive towards women horrible.”
It’s not accurate to say that all pornography which involves women degrades them, but a huge proportion does involve situations or activities that can make for uncomfortable viewing. It doesn’t even have to involve actual sexual violence – even an offhand ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ can bring in unwanted misogyny that ruins the mood, and there’s always a nagging worry that what’s happening on-screen could be linked to off-screen exploitation.
For some people this is reason enough to reject all pornography, whether it involves women or men. But not all porn is necessarily bad, believes Holly Combe, writer for the F-word and member of Feminists Against Censorship. “Objectification only becomes bad if it is complete and absolute rather than mutable and interchangeable,” she says.
Forbidden pleasures
Assuming we can safely discount penis envy as outdated Freudian twaddle, the answer to why lesbians enjoy gay man porn could partly lie in how we use pornography as a way to play around with genders and sexualities outside of our usual experience. Watching gay man sex on a screen or a magazine is a peek into a forbidden world that we’re usually excluded from. It’s taboo and exciting, but at the same time totally fake and entirely safe.
Even if you’ve never used a strap-on, had sex with a man or wanted to be a man, the human brain is such a marvellous thing that we can still identify with what’s going on, and get off on it. As Holly explains quite simply, “looking at attractive naked people getting it on is arousing.”
‘Women are sexual beings’
Whether you’re into lesbian porn, gay man porn or no porn at all, no one should be made to feel ashamed of their sexual desires. “Women are sexual beings,” say the Grace the Spot writers. “Women should not feel guilty watching porn. If some women are afraid to watch porn because of what others may think, then they are succumbing to yet another means of controlling women’s behaviour.”
Sexuality can be surprising, fluid and lead to some sticky situations. Don’t worry about whether or not liking gay man porn makes you a bad lesbian. Just lie back – or bend over – and enjoy it.
Related stories:
Gay brain research: Lesbilicious talks to the experts
Why do lesbians hate bisexuals?
Grace the Spot - Stuff Lesbians Like 45: Gay Porn
Ok, I’m just going to put it out there - I have never found gay male porn evem slightly appealing!
Faith ∼ October 1st, 2008 5:18 pm…those cupcakes look good though
Faith ∼ October 1st, 2008 5:19 pmhave to agree with you there Faith.. cupcakes.. lovely.. manbits… less so!
Lisa ∼ October 1st, 2008 7:40 pmI’ve never been turned on by the hardcore stuff, but I definitely nurtured some fantasies about romping around the mountains with the Brokeback boys. Both of them. At once.
Kia ∼ October 2nd, 2008 2:47 pmok..here goes….i admit it…i like to watch guys doing it. this has always been one of my little secrets. i always felt weird that it turned me on…..but i couldnt wait to have sex with my girlfriend afterward.
brainsnapper ∼ October 7th, 2008 2:47 amActual gay porn… not for me at all. But I do absolutely adore “Queer as Folk USA”, and prefer the male couples to the female ones (I suppose I just can’t relate to the ‘lesbian’ couple at all, as they’re not very convincing and look totally hetero to me). For me though, sex isn’t very interesting unless it’s part of a romance story. And I like happy endings!
Anastasia ∼ October 9th, 2008 5:39 pmYep, this article hit the nail on the head. Everything I’ve ever said about why we love gay porn is in here. We knew we couldn’t be the only ones!
Burtalson ∼ October 10th, 2008 1:59 amMe and my girlfriend even swap gay porn with the guys next door, and give recommendations.
I make the real lesbian porn that the article says is “hard to come by” and I actually tend to prefer watching the scenes that I’m in.
I guess it’s easy to picture myself in the scene - ’cause I actually am in the scene.
My mission:
Make sure lesbians know about this type of porn that does exist.
And…
To inspire others to make more of it so that we can have a variety of real dyke porn available.
What can I do to spread…the word about good porn for dykes?
Bren Ryder
Bren Ryder ∼ October 10th, 2008 8:56 pmhttp://www.GoodDykePorn.com
Sorry, but there really is an awful lot of tripe written about porn. And this is a fine example of tripe you’ve written right here:
“The first problem in watching lesbian porn is that the vast majority of it is painfully straight, and not at all meant for lesbians. It’s not so much the hair extensions, fake breasts or bored expressions that give it away; more like the long, scraping fingernails. Oh wait, one more clue – the ubiquitous dude who’s enthusiastically welcomed in to give the girls what they’ve been missing.”
Why?
Well, the kind of porn you’re describing here where two women are having sex and a guy turns up and joins in the fun - that isn’t lesbian porn. It isn’t even “lesbian porn for men”. Not in any shape or form. It’s just straightforward, honest to god straight porn. Girl-on-Girl action is a ubiquitous component of most straight porn because most men are turned on by it - and most female porn stars are bisexual enough to oblige the boys with a lezzy show. Those women in scenes like that aren’t meant to be lesbians. They’re just meant to be regular women. And in pornoland all women are bisexual didnt you know? - unless they’re lesbians that is. There’s no such thing as straight porn where you are guaranteed to see no girl-on-girl activity whatsoever - not eeven straight porn for women. “Straight girls” who won’t have sex with girls simply aren’t really a viable porn niche. There’s no significant market for them.
There is a small minority of female porn stars who refuse to do any girl-girl stuff but in most cases where they have their own website they will include some bonus content with other women doing girl-girl on their sites - or cross sell with other sites that have that content.
“Lesbian” porn that is “all girl” - i.e. no men in at all - has been available in vast quantities for decades. The reason for this is, believe it or not, there are plenty of lesbophile men who don’t like to see any cock in their porn. Some of these guys don’t even like to see a strapon.
Of course if you’re a dyke who isn’t into femme-femme then you’ll find most of this stuff difficult to relate to, especially if you’re one of those dykes who still clings on stereotypical notions of what queer women should look like. Gay man porn will quite likely suit you better.
There is a real shortage of butch and bois type dykey looking women in porn. One of the owners of one of the top queer women owned lesbian porn websites based in the USA told me recently that they have real problems finding butches to work with them. It’s much easier to find femmes - especially bi-femmes who tend to like other bi-femmes.
And guess what? A lot of those hot guys in gay man porn aren’t gay. They’re bi - and quite often the straight side of bi, or “gay for pay” as many of them like to put it. Quite a lot of them are married to women that they have kids with. Men generally get paid a lot more for performing in gay porn than they do for doing straight porn Being “bi-flexible” is real asset if you want to pursue a career in porn - whether you’re female or male. And if you’re a hot transsexual (chick with a dick) you can make an absolute fortune.
Geri ∼ October 11th, 2008 1:02 amHey Bren!
How’s it going?
I’m the Geri from RLPN who does my best to promote GoodDykePorn dot com and other lesbian4lesbian porn websites and erotica for queer women. And thanks for linking back to us btw!
I was feeling fairly pissed-off when I wrote my previous comment I’ll admit - although I basically stand by everything I said in it.
Pissed off why? Well by this “hard to come by” business. Because if you google “dyke porn” Bren’s site is number one. If you google “real lesbian porn” my website is number one. And if you google just “lesbian porn” my site is generally to be found in the top 12. It keeps moving up and down. It’s been as high as number 6. We were number one on yahoo last time I checked.
So, sorry but “hard to come by” - just not true anymore. All you have to do is look.
I’ve got nothing whatsoever against any women enjoying gay man porn btw. But if you’re a lesbian who says you buy gay male porn because you can’t find any real lesbian porn then I do have an issue with that, because I strongly suspect that you’re just not looking for it.
Geri ∼ October 12th, 2008 1:58 amto geri and bren… thats great that you do real lesbian porn, but not everyone looks at porn on the net and so if you’re not online and in a shop or whatever its still hard to come by. just sayin! :-)
Fuegofuego ∼ October 16th, 2008 1:43 pmGood point Fuegofuego. When it comes to shopping in shops availability depends totally on where you live. The wonderful thing about the Net is that availability depends much, much less on where you live.
I can only cater to those who have Internet access. However I’d like to point out that as long as you are able/willing to purchase online I do cater for people who have a slow connection &/or prefer to buy dvds, vhs etc. You can also buy books, magazines, sex toys, calendars, posters, fine prints, novelty items - all sorts of fun and interesting lezzy and other sexy stuff - including gay man porn :) - via the links on my website. I also have a quite a lot of free picture, video, and story content + lots of links to dating and community services for lesbians and bisexual women.
I don’t know precisely why “On Our Backs” - the original porn magazine for lesbians - stopped publishing a few years ago. But I’m sure one of the main reasons must have been down to economics. I don’t know if it is economically feasible at all to produce such a publication on paper any more. I think it would be a brave company that tried it. Even porn magazines for men are considering, or actually starting , to give up on the print run and just publish online. Playgirl - for straight women and queer men has gone over to online publication only already.
Geri ∼ October 20th, 2008 10:41 amGeri you sound like you find porn very liberating?
Faith ∼ October 20th, 2008 12:33 pmGeri,
You are an amazing porn ambassador!
love,
Bren Ryder ∼ October 23rd, 2008 6:28 pmBren
All I have to say about this article is “What?”
I’m not interested in watching gay men have sex, nor have I ever been. It’s fine if that’s your thing, but why write an article implying that most lesbian are drooling over men having sex?
For one thing, good queer porn has been around since On Our Backs was published. Yes, it’s harder to come by (but not come to, little pun there), but it’s still out there. Failing that, at least bad, male-made, male-targeted lesbian and heterosexual porn has women in it. How could I get off to something with no females in it at all? I know sexuality is a nuanced and complicated thing, but… I’m a lesbian. I find women erotic. No women? Not erotic.
Gold ∼ October 27th, 2008 11:23 pm“Geri you sound like you find porn very liberating?”
Strange as it may sound Faith I’ve personally found that porn broadens the mind. It also took me on a journey which helped me greatly in coming to terms with my own bisexuality.
Geri ∼ October 28th, 2008 1:38 pm“Geri,
You are an amazing porn ambassador!
love,
Bren”
Thank you so much for those kind words Bren!
It was a great thrill when I discovered your web site and really quite satisfying to know that I had already managed to make a modest space on the Internet where I could immediately start to promote it to some reasonable effect.
I’m still by no means satisfied with the number of joins I get for you though. I will, and must do better.
Geri ∼ October 28th, 2008 1:50 pm“All I have to say about this article is “What?” ”
I think the point is Gold that queer women are a sexually and emotionally very diverse group of people.
You mention On Our Backs here and Cyber Dyke Net in a comment on Kia’s porn round up article. You must surely be aware that by no means all the women involved in CyDy and OOB are exclusively homosexual?
I feel that the queer women who get off on “gay man” porn, including the ones who actually seriously identify as lesbian, are bisexual on some level, whether they care to admit it or not. Feeling that does not mean I think that women in this group are all people who could be happy sharing their life with any partner who is a biological male - even a very rare and/or feminine one. I would say that would be the case for some and not for others.
It was on one of CyDy’s web sites that I first saw Buck Angel - the world’s most famous transman porn star. I’d be surprised if you yourself fancied him at all. But Zille does. Then, she is openly bisexual, and so is Buck (like many trans people).
Geri ∼ October 28th, 2008 2:10 pmThanks for responding, Geri.
I never implied that Cyber-Dyke was exclusively homosexual, nor would it be ’superior’ if it were. I approved of your list and thought I would add a few more items to it that contain good porn, that’s all.
I find nothing wrong with what you’re saying at all, but I do get tired of being told my sexuality is ‘fluid’ and of the delight people seem to take in talking about how females are secretly lusting over men no matter how gay they are.
Of course there is room for queerness of all stripes, but one of those stripes is the one reserved for exclusive, Kinsey 6 homosexuals, even female ones. I feel the need to remind the world at large that we exist, as well.
I hope you understand that when you write an article like this, to people like me it seems that you’re implying every lesbian, everywhere, is interested in masturbating to men: “It’s time to face the issue of why lesbians love gay man porn.” I am not saying that lesbians who masturbate to men are ‘wrong,’ I am saying that not all of them do.
It feels strange to be asking this on a lesbian blog, but please give my sexuality some consideration as well.
Gold ∼ October 28th, 2008 7:59 pmI love gay man porn! I think it’s mostly because it’s exciting– I can never partake in the real thing. It’s just something to admire from afar.
I’m pansexual, though, and not *technically* a lesbian. But that really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, because I do like women, a lot, and I am not a man.
Also, FREE real lesbian porn is extremely hard to come by.
You can always tell a fake lesbian porno if:
1: tongues are out in the open wiggling around like some insane fish
2: The “hair flip” is present: where all lesbian action stops as soon as someone’s hair gets in the way, and five seconds are needed to fix it. (not an attack on femme-itude. Just an observation.)
3: There is a lot of high-pitched, breathy moaning when nothing exciting is happening…
Etc. Etc. I’ve been to the lesbian4lesbian sites mentioned here, but they all cost money. Does anyone know of any free sites out there?
Kathy Dana ∼ November 11th, 2008 12:56 amHi Kathy Dana
Re: “I’ve been to the lesbian4lesbian sites mentioned here, but they all cost money. Does anyone know of any free sites out there?”
My site, which has been mentioned here, has quite a lot of free samples on it. It’s easy to find. Just google “Real Lesbian Porn”.
The free samples are just that of course - samples that are there to promote and make sales for the sites that cost money. And it costs those sites and me money to make this content available for free.
Quick Reality Check. If porn-loving queer women want lesbian4lesbian porn to continue to exist, and to grow and develop, then they have to be prepared to support it financially. We can’t just expect the men who appreciate it to make it financially viable to produce.
Gay man porn doesn’t rely on women, queer or straight, to keep it financially viable. It relies on queer men. It always has, and it always will.
If my site is no longer online this time next year there will be just one reason why that is. It certainly won’t be because I just got bored with the whole thing.
Geri ∼ November 18th, 2008 2:45 pmI think it’s also a turn on because I, in particular, just like the idea of sex between two human beings of the same sex. It turns on my body and exites my soul. And I’m bisexual. And if I watch porn it has to be gay, either way.
Ann ∼ January 14th, 2009 7:40 amNot all good lesbian porn is hard to come by! HotMoviesForHer.com has a ton of lesbian, queer, dyke, femme/butch porn that’s all pay-per-minute without having to sign any contracts. We also have lots and lots of gay porn and hetero stuff too, because we know that us dykes like to watch all kinds of porn and it isn’t always lesbian stuff.
And yeah, I’m not interested in watching bored girls doing girls, even if they are real lezzies. I want to see real people of all kinds really getting of and enjoying themselves. And that’s what we have.
Oh, and we also blog all the time, have movie reviews, toy reviews, star interviews and more. It’s the whole shabang when we comes to smutty stuff for the ladies!
Check us out! http://www.hotmoviesforher.com
xoxo
J.D. Bauchery
ps. I didn’t mean this to sound like a commercial, I just really stand behind the queer porn we have and want to make it as easily accessible as possible. Viva la lesbo porn!
J.D. Bauchery ∼ March 27th, 2009 10:18 pmOk– I adore gay porn– is this really something new.There are always cute boys who’ll put on a show for moma, right? And the str8 bait variety is my fav …
anna ∼ March 28th, 2009 12:38 amReally interesting thread!
One of my favorite things about porn, and I watch a lot of it working in the industry, is how it opens my mind to things I never considered before. I’m a lesbian, never been with a man and have no intentions of doing so, but I’ve found that I enjoy watching men with men, men with women, trannie porn, just about anything…
Someone previously mentioned that they suspect people like me are probably secretly bisexual, but I think i’m just not afraid to embrace the images and acts that turn me on. Hot sex is hot sex… Of course, I do believe that sexuality is more fluid than most people think, so I’m not knocking her opinion either. I can only vouch for me!
There was a really accessible article in the NY Times a few weeks back called “What is Female Desire” that I suggest people look up if they’re interested in knowing the science behind it a little more. The best part is that the focal point, Meredith Chivers, is baffled by her own research that measures levels of arousal in all genders. She found that no matter how women identify in regards to sexual orientation, that they become aroused watching all kinds of pornography, unlike men. Of course, they often lied about what they found arousing, but the body doesn’t lie!
It’s not a comprehensive study and I find faults with the article, but it is an interesting read regarding this discussion.
The Porn Librarian ∼ March 28th, 2009 1:09 pmI love butch cock. There isn’t a lot of lesbian porn that features unabashed and unembarrassed butch cock (Bren Ryder & Shine Louise Houston’s the Crash Pad series are the few exceptions).
I sometimes watch both gay porn and hetero straight porn (straight “lesbian porn” is simply an oxymoron to be avoided at the costs) because it is the closest to real butch cock that completely turns me on. I don’t like watching straight girls wearing dildos fucking unaroused straight girls clearly for male enjoyment, I like seeing intense sexy butches hard fucking femmes with their cocks - a totally different experience.
And, let me add, I have never fucked men and have NO desire to do so, gay or straight.
Dish ∼ March 28th, 2009 2:13 pmI have loved man-on-man porn since a girlfriend turned me on to it about 15 years ago. I usually tell friends about this for shock value. I have enjoyed hearing from other queer women that they also like gay porn.
I like it for a lot of the reasons mentioned above. I can identify with the guy penetrating and the guy being penetrated. It is a definite turn-on.
May sound weird, but I have gotten used to watching gay porn for so long that I feel a little resistent to the idea of trying lesbian porn. Seems I either like gay men or super-femme lesbian or bisexual women. Sexuality sure is fascinating!
Regina ∼ April 5th, 2009 8:26 amOkay, I can understand why lesbians would like this. But I’m afraid, the site of a penis makes me throw up a little in my mouth.
Sorry but that is the truth. I don’t really find any porn to my taste.
Izzy ∼ April 24th, 2009 8:49 pmThe stereotyping on this site is more nauseating than all the uncensored wang in the world, and coming from me, that’s really saying something. Got a problem with long nails? C’mere, lemme stab your eyes out with mine, so you don’t have to look at my horrible, horrible femininity anymore!
karen ∼ June 2nd, 2009 6:45 amLike a few others have said, I actually find penises (penii? meh) somewhat repulsive - at best, I don’t find men’s genitals attractive.
Mind you, I’ve nothing against women - gay, bi or straight - who do. I’m very much aware that what may attract you on a computer screen, in a magazine or as a third party does not, in any way, mean you are interested in being a participant.
Still, I’ve never watched “true” lesbian porn. I’ve stuck with hetero porn (at least the woman seems to enjoy it - usually) or “fake” lesbian porn. Tried male-gay porn, didn’t like it.
Until today, I didn’t even know there was “true” lesbian porn. I’m not overly interested in porn, mind. I looked, hard, but I approach porn like many approach technology: with trepidation, and without expecting all that much. I type “porn” into Google and root around the first sites I see. As you can probably guess, those’d be male-orientated sites and wouldn’t hold proper lesbian porn. So I end up giving up! Haha.
LizA ∼ June 14th, 2009 12:31 amBy “who do”, I meant: “who watch male-gay porn”, rather than “who find male genitals attractive”. Sorry!
LizA ∼ June 14th, 2009 12:33 amI can’t belive that a group of people who are so often misunderstood and not accepted for who or what they are, are squabbling and being just as unaccepting over something as stupid as the porn others like to watch. You do all realise that there are people out there who whach porn that involes donkeys right? and I really didn’t want to single any other post out because I was pretty sure that would just start another round of bickering but I noticed that someone said that any lesbian who whatched gay man porn was bisexual wether they thought so or not and I’d just like to point out that we get enough of people telling us what we are and why we’re not what we say we are without doing it to each other.
felix ∼ July 21st, 2009 10:44 amOh and PS yeah I’m one of those lesbians who watch gay porn, and I’d certainly never let a man put his penis anywhere near me :)
great article. Im one of those gay women (ive never ever been attracted to a man) who like to watch gay porn. i thought it was weird too…but this article reassures me-im not alone!
Demi ∼ July 30th, 2009 11:45 amwhy do i watch it?
well yeah, first of all.. lesbian porn u find here is way too fake, way too straight.
Also, Gay men porn is..exciting, forbidden, sthg that, as a woman, i will never get to know (not that i want to..), and that makes it arousing. I am used to soft, tender, love making with my girlfriend, and seein some violent hardcore gay men sex just turns me on.. althou it doesnt mean that id want it any other way with my girlfriend, its perfect as it is :)
I must say as a lesbian, I do enjoy watching gay man porn. I would never admit this to other lesbians or straights in person because they will quickly assume I’m bi. And that’s not even the case, I’m a lesbian, but it’s something more exciting than what lesbian porn has! I would love to watch more lesbian porn, I honestly would, yet it’s too fake! They are usually the typical Barbie doll, with long-loud colored fingernails, girly-girls appearance, long hair, drag-queenish make-up. Where is all the natural and believable ladies in these porns! And another thing I would love to see more of is stud-femme action in porns. It’s always the femme ladies having fun, but when can some fans of porn see the stud-femme action???
Amanda ∼ August 27th, 2009 3:57 amI admit it too I like watching man on man action!!! Bring on ur Dante’s Peak and QAF anytime but given a choice girl on girl will always take presidence obviously. I think its cuz I am butch and like to gender bend I dunno I sumtimes envy these gay boys like the above article they look like they r loving every minute and is that not wot porn is supposed to be? enjoyable for both parties? well unless u r straight that is!!
k8 ∼ September 2nd, 2009 12:33 pmI’ve been an out lesbian since the tender age of 15. I am all for the world of lady love and have never once second-guessed my sexuality. Women are just so beautiful, it’s unreal. Now having said all that, I freely admit to only watching gay male porn.
RG ∼ September 4th, 2009 6:03 amAs strange as that sounds, I just can’t bring myself to enjoy the vast majority of straight, mainstream pornography. The so-called “lesbian” scenes in those movies are just pathetic. I would never subject my lover to half the crap they put those poor girls through. The fake licking, the smacking, the terrible dialogue, it’s simply too horrible for me to tolerate. And straight pornography is equally disgusting to me.
I prefer gay male porn because the guys are pretty and they actually appear to be enjoying what they are doing. Now I’m not naive. I’ve seen documentaries on the porn industry and I’m fully aware that most men in those movies are “gay for pay.” But as long as they appear to be having a good time then I’m all for it.
One thing I am curious about is the real lesbian porn that I’ve heard so much about. I’m rather vanilla and quite proud of it. I tend to watch pornography that doesn’t cater to fetishes. If I could find a few lesbian flicks that are simple and tasteful (no pun intended), I’m sure I’d work them into my porn régime.
My one gripe about such videos is access. I have a porn shop less than a mile from where I reside and I know they don’t carry the lesbian videos I desire. And even if they did, I’m fairly positive I couldn’t afford them. Hell, I can’t even afford sex toys. I will admit that this is one great thing about gay male porn. I can Google it and about a bazillion sites come up, all with free full-length clips. If the world of porn wants to expand their market, I suggest doing a little advertising on some of those free sites. Provide folks like me with a little taste of what you got. In some cases you these sites even allow you to pay for the scenes you like. Shoot, even I’ve done that before. It’s like buying music on iTunes. Let me pick what I want and I know I’ll come back for more.
“There was a really accessible article in the NY Times a few weeks back called “What is Female Desire” that I suggest people look up if they’re interested in knowing the science behind it a little more. The best part is that the focal point, Meredith Chivers, is baffled by her own research that measures levels of arousal in all genders. She found that no matter how women identify in regards to sexual orientation, that they become aroused watching all kinds of pornography, unlike men. Of course, they often lied about what they found arousing, but the body doesn’t lie!”
Other studies in that topic suggests women are aroused even by sex of apes. They also studied brain activity and that showed those women didn’t lied when they said they were not feeling aroused. Researchers now think this is just mechanism of automatical lubrication which is set by view of any sex, but have nothing to do with real feeling of sexual arousal.
Ami ∼ September 15th, 2009 11:15 pmGreat writeup! I know of several lesbian women who really do love gay porn. Not all the time, of course. ;)
Adam & Eve, Sex Toys ∼ September 23rd, 2009 8:48 pmOMG finally! I am NOT alone. I have been secretely watching gay porn for months now and I just find it amazing esp. when it’s two macho men f#@king eachother. Wtf? Weird bt nice.
Leo ∼ October 7th, 2009 1:09 pmI have 2admit it, my love of gay man porn has been my dirty little secret 4years, only spoken about in drunken confessions and yes i did fear it made me some kind of freaky dyke! Gay sex is hot 2watch and im glad its not just me! Maybe i wont feel so ashamed in future.
Sadie ∼ October 13th, 2009 3:48 pmThere are times when I am amazed and frankly saddened by the amount of hatred for non mainstream opinions in the gay community and some of the reactions to this article once again show that intolerance can and will always be found in the community.
Of you don’t like men porn, fine… you attack the author for generalizing and yet you assume that your tastes are those of all lesbians out there. It seems from many posts that they’re not. How about we live and let live?
Wouldn’t it be a grand start to maybe someday being tolerated by others than we can tolerate ourselves and each other for our differences as we embrace each other for our simiarities.
Gelfling ∼ October 22nd, 2009 5:11 pmcan we pls remember one thing ladies?….watching 2, or more, people having sex, and enjoying it (or doing a bloody good impression of enjoying it)…is damn sexy, irrespective of gender…i watch gay make, straight, and lesbian porn, love all of it, as long as it’s convincing in the pleasure stakes…(my guilty confession however, is i cannot watch male come shots…its the spunk that turns me off!!!
cheeky ∼ November 19th, 2009 1:19 amWell, I’m transsexual lesbian and I must say gay men porn does nothing for me. I just wonder, if it’s because I have “male sexuality” after all, or those lesbians who like it are really bisexual at some level, and there’s some women (6 on Kinsey scale), who, just like me, feels nothing when they see sex of two guys.
misoretu ∼ December 7th, 2009 12:14 amYyyeaahhh, I’m gonna go on record and say that gay male porn is the opposite of interesting to me. I like guys on a totally platonic level, but I don’t really find the majority of them, even most of the supposedly “hot” ones, physically attractive at all.
I did find the comment about “the long, scraping fingernails” to be dead on, however. I by far think Karen above missed the point by a mile. I’m a fairly femme gal myself, but long nails to me simply look painful. I don’t think it was a remark about the fashion choices of femme women, but more the mechanics of having sharp and pointy implements jabbing at a vag. It’s been a complaint I’ve had about GoG scenes in straight porn for years now.
Mele ∼ December 13th, 2009 7:04 pmJuanita!
Juanita ∼ December 16th, 2009 9:07 pmI’m a gay bloke, and find gay men’s porn, simply, too boring and predictable. It’s almost as if we are being dictated to as to what to watch… YAWN. Don’t even mention shaved pubes to me.. it’s just soo trendy, under the “guise” of “hygiene” (Yeah Right - Humankind obviously hasn’t died out because men & women didn’t shave pubes). I thought I was “hard done by”, but thinking about my “sisters” - (Lesbians), what on earth have they got to look at, whoops, I forgot, women don’t look at porn, especially Lesbians, do they… GEEEEZ, The gay/lesbian porn industry doesn’t know “Jack Shit”, it just assumes what we want, and “tough shit” if we don’t like it… After all, it’s still all about the Str8 man looking at a pubically shaved bimbo/dominatrix isn’t it, no one else matters… WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE porn makers, did I mention the pink Pound (dollar etc, etc)…
pontypool1 ∼ January 10th, 2010 1:00 amAmazing…I find this article and all your comments very fascinating.
All of you have made such great points.
I too enjoy watching gay men porn, and am a full on lesbian. Lol it’s my “dirty little secret” as well.
I remember a few years back when some lesbian friends of mine admitted to enjoying watching gay men porn, and I thought to myself “to each one’s own…but not for me.” Then, one day, one of my queer friends played a clip of some guy on guy action. From that day forward I couldn’t watch anything else but gay porn. Believe me, I’ve tried watching other lesbian porn. (And I never really enjoyed porn before that either.)
Cancan ∼ January 25th, 2010 8:35 amIt’s my dirty little thrill…I keep it a secret for the thrill of it lol.
I love gay porn! LOVE IT…its so raunchy and wrong…and its fun to role play and fantasize!
vanny ∼ January 25th, 2010 3:16 pmAs a woman who loves women…i can’t watch lesbian porn…its just gross
The men seem really excited to be there…and they are equals ..thats the beauty of it
In straight porn..you can’t help but feel that the women is being subjugated
I thought I was the only one ! ^^
Kalxy ∼ February 10th, 2010 9:17 pmThere’s a thing a really dislike in porn it’s oral sex, I just find it boring to watch and it disgusts me to see a girl swallowing or being covered with cum … I should go to lesbian porn but it’s even worse ! I don’t get the impression that those girl are really f*cking each other ! >.<
Besides, I like to see someone being f*cked enjoying it, so gay porn is good for me, that’s it …
I’m a lesbian, But I love Gay porn!!! lesbian porn is nasty to me..
Victoria ∼ March 2nd, 2010 3:28 amI dont have penis envy but sometimes wish i had something there. I identify as a lesbian. I do not find men attractive at all. To be honest their bodies rupulse me, i know thats harsh but its true. Its true that lesbian porn is so straight and fake. Lesbians are under represented and still not accepted like the “gay man” so i think a lot of gay women could not get to see any kind of girl on girl type action to learn from it. I think porn is grosse and can never understandwhen people have collections of it. I would feel really unloved and un fancied if my partner needed to look at porn to get aroused
Sara ∼ March 5th, 2010 1:05 amI stumbled across this article and I really am surprised to know that lots of lesbians enjoy gay porn, for what appears to be an oxymoron. Go figure! Gay porn is even more popular among straight women, like me. I LOVE gay porn with a passion, it just arouses me tremendously. Which it’s funny cos I started watching straight porn for a year and although I enjoyed it a lot, everything changed when I discovered gay porn to the point that this is the only porn I watch and gets me hot and wet and really horny every time. What’s more exciting and sexy for a woman to see not only one but TWO or MORE hot, hunky, rugged, masculine guys with hot bodies, gorgeous faces, and huge juicy shafts… sometimes making sweet, tender love and some other times f@#$ing the sh*t out of each other. Of course it’s what is forbidden what we love most sometimes, right?
Mily_G ∼ March 7th, 2010 7:23 pm