Column: Bi the way

September 9th, 2009 by columnist

And so the ‘getting myself out onto the gay scene’ has begun… sort of. A recent girly night out ended in Soho. So far, so good.

My sympathetic straight girl friend and I head to a busy bar for a drink and a bit of a boogie later in the evening. And so the recipe goes:

  • Take a newly single columnist
  • Add her favourite dress and killer heels and a pinch of good friendship for added confidence
  • Marinade in 3 cocktails (preferably ‘Black Russians’) for 1 to 2 hours
    Stir in the surprise arrival of a good friend called George and a generous handful of his workmates
  • Pour in 6 gin and tonics, remembering to be generous with the gin
  • Allow to simmer in cheesy music until the wee small hours.

The resulting dish should be the (male) friend of George in handy takeaway form …and as it turned out, a classic case of stereotypical straight male response to any hint of lesbianism.

The next morning, as said male was about to embark on his walk of shame from my messy flat, it seems that I was rumbled.

A few copies of a lesbian magazine and L Word DVDs strewn about the place did it apparently. Cue complete confusion of a straight man once trying to find his coat and now trying to make sense of it all.

I saw his face shift from puzzlement as he asked why I owned them. Raised eyebrows as he realized I had just said ‘yes I’m actually bisexual’, a smug smile as he then replied with ‘So if you’re a lesbian…’ and my reply of ‘NO you can’t watch’ soon followed.

The bizarre yet highly typical interrogation begins: ‘But you don’t look like a lesbian!’, well technically I’m not a lesbian and funnily enough they don’t all look the same either, being normal human beings and all.

And no confused little man, that wasn’t my girlfriend who you met with me last night- I am single and no cheat!

And no, being bisexual make me a) ‘greedy’ or b) ‘a sex addict’. Thankyou.

Not having to explain any of this to anyone, let alone on a repeated basis and in this case with the beginnings of an almighty hangover, would be very nice.

Could someone please educate the straight men? Or perhaps I’m the one that should learn.

Most men, even if you do pluck them out of a bar in gay Soho, will probably have the sexual politics and LGBT awareness as your average Bush administration intern. Oh, and of course I should tidy my flat a little more often.

Katie Dunseath

Posted in: Exclusives |

 comments

  • Katie, darling, you’ve got a better sense of humour about this stuff than I do. :-)

    Lola ∼ September 11th, 2009 10:39 am

  • You’re really confusing this simple lesbian. You go to a gay bar to find girls & wind up sleeping with a man?

    Weren’t there any girls in the bar?

    rory ∼ September 12th, 2009 2:02 am

  • I’m with rory. We all know how annoying straight men can be - a column on a lesbian website recording your adventures with them is perplexing to say the least….

    Rachel ∼ September 14th, 2009 6:43 am

  • In Katie’s defence she defines as bisexual not lesbian, so it’s not so crazy that she took a guy home that night rather than a woman.

    And I imagine she’s not the only bi girl to have had that kind of reaction from a straight guy.

    Milly

    admin ∼ September 14th, 2009 10:26 pm

  • Thanks for your comments people. As Milly says and the title of my column might suggest, I am bisexual and therefore am just as likely to mention things with guys as with girls here. I understand from the response to ‘Why do lesbians hate bisexuals’ article on this website that this is unfortunately a major sticking point for some readers.

    Rory…lets be more positive please? Perhaps you can suggest a better bar to go to in future if you think that is where I might be going wrong?!

    Rachel…. I hope you will continue to read my column and realise it is not just a record of my ‘adventures’ with guys. We all know that Carrie Bradshaw/ Candice Bushnell and the likes have been there, done that and got the million dollar film deal. As lovely as that all sounds, it is in no way my plan! I know that if you want to read that kind of thing, you can find it already elsewhere.

    Glady lesbilicious offers LGBT women the chance to write about their experiences and many other things. Why not embrace it?!

    Katie Dunseath ∼ September 29th, 2009 7:45 pm