Last Saturday, around fifty queers and allies from around the south-east crowded into a small London bookshop-cafe to listen to trans and trans-friendly artists read poetry, sing songs and tell stories, and to take part in an auction to help London’s queer institution Roz Kaveney promote her new book in the States.

Organiser and compere CN Lester seemed on top form, with the experience behind them of last year’s two successful Transpose events. Knowing many of the attendees by name, they gave the evening the atmosphere of a cheerful house party full of good friends, while also balancing a demeanour of organised, efficient professionalism. Performers sat all around the room when not onstage and chatted with the audience while up there, breaking down performer-audience barriers and contributing to the intimacy of the event. This was very much something collaborative, created by and for our community.

Performances varied from performance poetry to epic piano pieces. I especially enjoyed Maki Yamazaki’s acoustic filk on wheelchair accessibility, while Hel Gurney’s fairytale exploring identity, relationships and the tension between pleasing one’s partner while staying true to oneself set off knowing, empathetic nods all around the room. Lyman Gamberton and Elaine O’Neill offered up evocative, beautifully spoken poetry, and Roz Kaveney finished the set by reading an extract from the fantasy novel that sparked the event.

After a break to explore the shop’s collection of books and their excellent coffee, an auction to fundraise for the book tour ensued. It was wonderful to see the unusual and creative things on offer – items included hand-made bow ties and collars, cross-stitch themed on request and a screen print by Fox of My Trans Summer. Two of the poets who had performed earlier offered up personalised poems, and there were chances to experience an afternoon learning make-up techniques, to take singing lessons, or simply to enjoy a coffee date with Kaveney herself. After running the fast-paced and noisy auction, and occasionally calling up attendees as auctioneers so that they could bid, Lester took to the stage to finish the evening with some of their soaring, now-familiar songs.

It was wonderful to attend a queer event with such a strong focus on performances by trans and trans-friendly people, and to be reminded that art created by and for our community is varied and valuable. With hints from Lester of more Transpose coming later this year, I’ll very much look forward to the next instalment.

Does the LGBT community have a role model?  The likes of Heather Peace, Jill Jackson and Jessie J seem to have recently become emblems to the LB community but do we actually need someone we can relate to, someone that embodies the values we hold dear?

Close your eyes for one minute and picture someone that you aspire to…

Does this person meet the flowing criteria?

• comedian/singer/actor
• conventionally good looking
• single (or married to Portia De Rossi
• famous for being LGBT

Now close your eyes again and picture a role model within your own profession.

Not quite as easy is it.

Opening your eyes again you begin to see that the LB community is just as driven by the media as the heterosexual world. In fact it seems to me we are more exposed to the few that are ‘out’ that we tend to put them on a pedestal without necessarily knowing anything about them or their values.

So what is a role model? I suppose it depends very much on your personal views.  I prefer to think about it as someone we aspire to, someone who personifies the characteristics we hold of most value.

Stonewall Seminar

Recently I attended a Stonewall seminar where the topic of role models was discussed in order to identify the characteristics of a role model and whether there are enough openly LGBT business people in our relevant professions. The first speaker at the session was Jeane Freeman, chair of the NHS National Waiting Times Board at the Golden Jubilee, who is what I can only describe as an inspiration. She acknowledged that she is a role model and the implications which that has on her own behaviour; the need to mention her wife even when it was not always comfortable and to consider the needs of LB families in her hospital. It was all spoken in such a cool and down-to-earth way.  One could listen to her and be genuinely inspired. She is a successful woman who just happens to also be a lesbian. Something that instead of hiding she has used to the benefit of others and incorporated into her work.

What I found interesting and a common theme with all the speakers present was that they all admitted to experiencing work situations in which they still hesitated to be open about their sexuality.  The same hesitation that I have felt on occasion despite being out for more than 10 years, where the gremlin in your head is saying ‘is coming out here going to jeopardize my career progression?’ or worst still ‘will they judge me’.

The real ‘Lip Service’

When we look to society normalising a situation we tend to look to the media.  The difficultly is the ‘authenticity’ in which the media portrays the lesbian world.  Let us take the example of Lip Service, which provides a glamorised view on lesbian life in Glasgow. Should this artificial portrayal simply be accepted and admired?  As a lesbian in Glasgow I have a slightly different take on it. Come walk with me through the real L Service.

Cat and Frankie walk into ‘Ruby’s’ only to discover that it is actually a high priced straight bar some twenty minutes from the gay scene.  As they walk down Bath Street they are confronted Buckfast swilling teenagers who shout either an indistinguishable compliment or insult.  Before reaching the stylish Merchant City they abruptly take a sharp right into a dark, urine drenched alleyway, the end of which is home to a popular gay bar.  But alas, here there is none of the classy decor depicted in Lip Service; in fact, it is more like a scene from Hitchcock’s film ‘The Birds’.   Feeling a little hot under the collar they move to the club next door.  After been scrutinized by the butch bouncer who is reluctant to let them in ‘not being regulars,’ they are eventually let past to pay the overinflated entry charge  only to discover a bar queue that reaches half way across the floor as the barman chats up the pretty boy next to him.  After purchasing two egg cup sized Gin and Tonics they feel a little romance is in order. Unfortunately instead of picking a darkened booth downstairs in the ‘lesbian corner’ ( where many a Glasgow relationship has begun) they head to the bathrooms where they find a two hour queue to use the only cubicle that is not either flooded or had the door kicked in by a jealous thwarted lover.  With the romance officially dead, Cat decides that Heather Peace really is the better option.

The point I make here is not that Glasgow is a bad place to be or that programmes like Lip Service where strong lesbian characters are at the focus can only be a good thing.  This issue is that the world they depict is glamorised and sexualised against a straight backdrop in order to placate the mass media.   Perhaps that is the point of television to escape to a sensationalized world but what sort of distorted message are we selling and being sold in return. Should we still look to these characters as role models?

So who are the real role models?

Are they the singers and comedians that we see on television? Or could it be that person at work that you think really looks out for the development of their staff? Or the brutally honest colleague that always sticks up for the rest of the team? Or the cleaner that always makes an effort to talk to everyone?  Role models do not need to be lesbian or bisexual, the characteristics that we can aspire are not limited by sexuality or gender, just as the message of diversity and equality is just as strong when spoke by a straight leader.   Are you able to look around your life and see examples of unsung role models?

So here’s the thing, if you are out or even if you are not someone may be looking to you as their role model. Without getting sentimental we all have a responsibility to look outwards, to see how people perceive us and whether our behaviours match up to those characteristics that we ourselves aspire to in others.  If we could look around ourselves and also realise that others could also be looking up to us, maybe it’s time to not only look to the stars but consider the stars among us.

It seems there could be a breakthrough in the stigma against homosexuality, as the state of California may be the first to ban the therapy which aims to “convert” non heterosexual teens. ‪The therapy, which is sometimes known as reparative, or reorientation therapy, looks about changing the sexual orientation from homosexual, to what is deemed as normal: heterosexual.

California State Senate, Ted Lieu, is heading the bill and if it is passed, it would be illegal for Californian psychologists and therapists to use the “conversion” therapy on teens. However, this bill does not eradicate the therapy from California altogether. It still allows therapists to provide therapy for consenting adults, who are willing to sign a document stating they understand the nature of the treatment.

Supporters of the bill claim adverse effects of the therapy including: guilt, depression, and in some severe cases even suicide.

Sen. Lieu stated, before the vote by the Senate Judiciary Committee, that “these non-scientific efforts have led, in some cases, to patients later committing suicide, as well as severe mental and physical anguish,” and whilst for some, therapy is good, “some therapists are taking advantage of vulnerable people by pushing dangerous sexual orientation-change efforts.”

He added that: ”being lesbian or gay or bisexual is not a disease or mental disorder.” The “therapy can be dangerous,” and It comes down to whether homosexuality is intrinsic (we’re born with it) or developed through our environment. Whilst the American Psychological Association (APA), in 2009 stated that the conversion therapy is “unlikely to be successful and involves some risk of harm, “they did not take a stance in regards the California bill.

Clinton Anderson, director of the APA’s LGBT concerns office stated that: “Because APA doesn’t see same-sex sexual orientation as being in any essential way different from other sexual orientations, we do not believe there is any psychological reason why people should change, and we believe those individuals and organizations that still promote such therapy or other methods of change are contributing to a negative social climate for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, especially young people.”

The problem with this “conversion” therapy is that it leads to an unethical world where people feel that homosexuality is an illness or mental disorder, viewed with a degree of disdain, which needs to be ‘healed’. Whilst, the CEO of Bink behavioural therapy, Martin Binks, understands that sometimes people “need therapy to better understand their sexuality and to assist them in considering issues of sexuality in the context of their lives” he refuted the idea of “conversion therapy” as he believed it would instil an image that “being gay or lesbian” is a disorder. Previous APA president, Dr. Bernstein, also followed this line of thought disagreeing with conversion theory stating -to ABCNews.com- that conversion therapy has “no scientific basis whatsoever.”

Ilan Meyer, A researcher at UCLA, claimed that this sort of therapy can cause more harm than good to the children who, in most cases, are forced into the therapy. He said that “The only thing it is possibly for is convincing a person that to be gay is a bad thing, and to tell them that they are bad internally”. the end result of this type “of ‘therapy’ is to enhance self-rejection, it is damaging because we know therapy should not be doing that to people.”

However ‘Exodus international’, who are pro conversion therapy, rejected claims that it has adverse effects on people and stated that  said they offer: “grace and truth to a world impacted by homosexuality.”

I had a short interview with a young adolescent, Katie, who also went through the “conversion” therapy.

How did you feel when you first went to the conversion therapy?

I actually felt it to be a help, at the time, I was pretty confused in myself. Some of the techniques used to deter my “habits” or “tendencies” made me step back and see the situation I was in and the feelings I had in a whole new way.

Did you feel that because of your age you were influenced more so by the therapy?

Part of the therapy included going back in my past to find “why” I’m “this way” in a hope to undo it, or deal with it. In my mind, though, that’s just the way it is. Who knows, I may or may not have turned out this way regardless to my past.

What sort of effect on your life did the therapy have?

I think it completely depends on the sort of person you are, and the mindset you go into it with. I’m a Christian, from a Christian family and at times I’ve wanted to be straight, to make life easier. There were moments where I wanted it to work. Some parts of the therapy have shown me how to be more respectful of others views. Some people don’t agree with being homosexual. I learnt that you shouldn’t flaunt your sexuality around.

Do you, after your experience of conversion therapy, feel California is right to propose a ban on teens?

If a person genuinely hates being gay, then by all means conversion therapy may be the way for them. In some cases it may confuse a person even more and cause a permanent instability in who they are for the rest of their life. At the end of the day you need to be happy with who you are and love who that is.

Katie K, England.

Photo courtesy of:http://californiaschildren.typepad.com

Ok, well maybe not that last part.

Hopefully this new, light-hearted tone is here to stay, although it’s equally possible they decided to have a fairly jolly episode to make up for the fact the last three have been bleaker than a harrowing documentary about war atrocities presented by a weeping child.

However, if Lip Service really is going down a more tongue in cheek route (ahem), it’d be very welcome as one of the main problems of series one was that it took itself rather seriously: not an ideal decision if your programme contains ultra-unrealistic morgue sex scenes and unsubtle Jeremy Kyle-style story arcs (“My Dad Is Really My Uncle!”)

Having said that, it seems Lexy’s ‘stalker’ storyline is heading down the same sort of road. Last night, she found a note in her locker that simply said- ‘I know’. If you’re wondering where that rates on the cliché scale, it’s an 8: just above a villain deciding to lock the hero in a room with a slow moving laser beam instead of killing them outright, but below a police officer in a crime drama dying a day before retirement.

It’s a bit of a lazy way to create intrigue and interest in a new character, although I suppose there’s a chance Lexy does have some sort of shadowy past: perhaps a previous career as a barbeque thief, crocodile smuggler or sheep botherer back home in sunny Oz.

Lexy also got a phone call from the ‘Highland Bank’, conning her into revealing her address. Given there’s no such thing as the Highland Bank, it seems the stalker set up their own financial institution in order to trap her. If so, she’s clearly dealing with a criminal mastermind.

There’s no Partick Daily Post either. It might not seem much, but that sort of thing is pretty jarring to a Scottish viewers’ suspension of disbelief- a bit like having someone in Eastenders announce they were off for a go on the London Wheel followed by a tour of Buckingham Castle.

However, these were the only dodgy parts of what was one of the best episodes of Lip Service to date. The cast revamp – and solid performances from the new actors – has really transformed the series, like a dowdy pal who’s been botoxed, glycolic-peeled, waxed and forced to wear M&S tummy control pants.

The wonderful Sadie in particular is going from strength to strength. Even losing her weird cheese cafe job and ending up in a borderline hooker/client relationship with magazine editor Lauren didn’t ruffle her perfectly coiffed Cleopatra hair. Instead, she just turned the situation back to her advantage by accepting a job with Lauren’s wife.

Never mind helping at an art gallery – she really should go into politics, perhaps fronting the Monster Raving Lesbian Party (free cheese and herbal tea for voters).

Tess’s crush on Lexy also continued to entertain this week. Her idea of a borderline romantic night out? A roller disco. She’s like a 15 year old. It’s not clear what she’d arrange to mark a major event, like a significant anniversary or proposal: probably a bag of chips round the back of the multiplex after a midnight showing of Jumanji.

Instead of roller discoing with her ladycrush, she ended up on a terrible date. This was one of the best bits of the programme so far as, let’s be honest, we’ve all been there – right down to the two or three bottles of wine and the resigned shrug when you decide to agree to a fumble at the end of the night.

More of this sort of thing please, People Who Make Lip Service. In the next episode, you could have a character join Gaydar, then have them delete their account after receiving 30 identical messages from identical women with a photo of a whippet or cat instead of a profile picture and whose bio says they like going out, but equally enjoy having a cuddly night in.

Conundrum of the Week: Sorry, but what kind of posh restaurant becomes famous due to their selection of cheese? “Where are you off to tonight, 80s style obnoxious city trader guys? A strip club? A champagne bar?” “No, we’re like, off to eat cheese, yeah? We heard this cafe in town just bought in a new sort of Danish brie.”

2012 has seen the quick rise and the even quicker demise of the lesbian festivals.  3 became 1 in quick succession, after GoGo in the south and LadyRock in the north succumbed, L Fest was the only one left standing, right in the heart of England.  After hearing about the saddening news that LadyRock was forced to cancel due to the economic climate, then hearing about GoGo falling at the same hurdle, it made me think… what makes lesbian festivals such a fickle mistress to tame whilst gay pride events stand the test of time?

One of the main reasons that come to mind is the history behind Pride.  After the Stonewall riot in 1969, we’ve celebrated our community and what makes us special with such ferocity and love, it’s relatively easier to set up an event with this at its core.

Festivals always hang in the balance due to schedule clashes.  It’s safe to say we’ve got a lot going on here in the UK with that little sporting event happening in the summer.  Olympics is it?  I actually can’t wait to see the drama unfold on the smurf turf, yet I was ready to make my way down to a lady fest or two as well.  Read on to find out why we’ve been stripped from our selection mere weeks before the events were set to take place this year.

LadyRock was in its first year, yet had to cancel… what issues did you face?

In general, as featured throughout mass national media this year, 2012 has been an unfortunate time for festivals. In terms of issues specific to us, there really were not that many (at least that were apparent). We were thrilled with our line-up and had fantastic feedback for it. As a new brand we felt strong as an organisation, our team worked hard and we were receiving good press, both locally and nationally. Ultimately festivals are cancelled because of ticket sales and, in relation to ours, I would perhaps say that we had not made ourselves public early enough.

Whilst we had made an impact in the festival, LGBT and north west press sectors, you have to remember that we only announced the event and its full line-up around twelve weeks or so ago. In hindsight, we should have had more time so that people could get hold of their tickets and tell their friends about the event. Unfortunately we were stuck as to which months we could hold the festival in.

What was the ultimate issue that forced you guys to cancel the festival?

Aside from planning – and I hate to sound like a stereotypical Brit – but the weather we have had for the past two or three months has been horrendous, particularly in Manchester. The image most have of festivals is heat, Ray Bans and cans of Strongbow, whilst all we’ve seen since February has been rain, hooded jackets and hot chocolates. Had we been in sun bathing weather for two months, who knows what could have happened…

In general, as I said before, many UK festivals have been cancelled this year. National events such as the Queen’s Jubilee and The Olympics have meant many individuals re-think their ‘big weekends’ and celebrations around patriotism (which I fully support). I know the word is batted about so much but, in addition to this, the recession is constantly worrying people into where they spend their pennies. This has obviously affected us in the same way it has done other festivals.

Do you think the cancellation of LadyRock and GoGo was related or two separate issues?

I think related in the general ideas I just mentioned, as we are both smaller festivals, but not in respect of us being ‘women’s events’. Whilst we are most definitely a ‘niche’ event, there is an obvious need for our kind of festival on the market. This is visible from media types that relate to women and moreover, lesbian issues, as well as a clear market audience.

Whilst it has been a tough year both for us and our friends at GO.GO, 2012 wasn’t unsuccessful because of lack of want, but for all the aforementioned reasons.

Why do you think Prides have stood the test of time and grown over the past few years?

Pride events are pivotal to our society, both nationally and further afield, but in major UK cities their message and meaning has most definitely progressed over the years.

Manchester Pride began as a small event well over twenty years ago. It was a ‘bring and buy’ sale to raise money for HIV/AIDS organisations. In addition to that, Pride Marches took place to try and make a statement: regardless of homophobia and hate, which surrounded the gay community, it would not back down. It was a message of strength and, for other gay people, it was about hope.

Fast forward to 2012, and you can see and understand the journey even if you were not there to witness it first-hand. There is still money being raised for HIV and AIDS groups, but it goes towards helping people live and sustain a comfortable life. Other funds are raised looking for a cure, which we would hope is not so distant. In addition to this, Pride money is going towards LGBT community groups – sports teams, arts groups, help centres and radio stations – which we just could never have imagined all of those years ago.

Similarly, our Pride Marches are a cause for celebration. They still voice an aggressive strength and a deep-invested passion for equality, a fight against hatred and the feeling of alienation, but there is such a positivity around them. In Manchester, hundreds of thousands of straight men and women come to watch the parade and support our community. Major brands, celebrities and institutions take part to show their support for us – it is astounding, really.

Pride events will always be relevant, whether we are pushing further towards equal rights or celebrating the long journey we have come.

As well as that, the LGBT community is notorious for loving a good party… And, for that reason, the entertainment elements of Prides (fringe events, singing, comedy etc) make for a fantastic show.

So yes, the events have grown in size and capacity, but the passion and need for them has always been just as integral. I am so proud of our community and all of those who support it – we are doing a fantastic job and setting a wonderful example for the world. We really do show that ‘It Gets Better’, as they say…

Are you heading off to any this year?

As a huge supporter of Pride events around the world, I would love the chance to see LGBT communities celebrating in as many places as possible. Things are understandably extremely busy for me at the moment but, if I am able to, then you will definitely see me pop up at a few Pride events in 2012…

You and the team had a lot of stuff organised, such as merchandise etc… What’s going to happen to that stuff now?

As true ladies and rockers, we have always been particularly prepared as a team. When organising a festival – which I’ve now become quite used to – there is no other way to be. In terms of merchandise, we purchased by order, and so have not been left with too many excess items. For what has been sold – hold onto it – because I have no doubt you may be needing it in the not so distant future…

Will LadyRock return with a vengeance in 2013?

‘Onwards and upwards’ is our motto. The LadyRock brand is far from gone, and it will just come down to time control and more planning to ensure the event comes together as it should next time around. We are still extremely visible via social media; our Twitter account will remain very much active, keeping followers up-to-speed with all things music, Manchester, female, LGBT and festival related. In and amongst that, there will certainly be teasers in terms of where the brand is headed and when you will next hear from us… So watch this space, and make sure to follow us for the ride, as it’s set to be a good one…

France has just put an end to 17 years of rightist government, fairly conservative and sometimes openly homophobic. Deputy Christian Vanneste, for example, was excluded from the UMP party – Sarkozy’s party – this year for repetitive homophobic declarations.

On the other hand, socialism has been working closely for homosexual rights over the last thirty years. In 1981, Mitterrand was the President who decriminalized homosexual relationships between same-sex adults above 15 years-old. A project of law was proposed in December 1981, only a few months after Mitterrand arrived at the Elysée. Hollande is now about to pursue Mitterrand’s work to give LGBT people the exact same rights as any French citizens.

François Hollande’s commitments to LGBT people

Gay marriage to be legalized this year

In Hollande’s ’60 propositions for France’ released during the presidential campaign, proposition #31 was clear and simple: “I will extend the right to marriage and adoption to homosexual couples”.

The organization Homosexualités et Socialisme (HES) launched thereafter a website named after proposition 31, MonEngagement31, to follow the actions of Hollande towards LGBT people. LGBT people can post testimonials stating how Hollande’s politics will change their life: ‘What it will change for me? I won’t be a sub-human in a country which motto is ‘Liberty, Equity, Fraternity’. I will have the same rights as my fellow-citizens: the freedom not to get married because the values of marriage are not the ones I want for myself. But I will have the freedom to choose at last’ says one of them.

Supporting gay parenthood from 2012

The questions of LGBT parenthood will be the next step. Hollande intends to give same-sex couples the right to adopt, as well as IVF possibilities and procreation assistance for female couples. Mr Hollande remains though opposed to surrogacy which he sees like ‘merchandizing of the human body’.

Fighting homophobia and discrimination in France and worldwide

From this year, blood donation will finally be authorized for homosexuals. Hollande is planning to set up educational campaigns from primary school. Discrimination at work, within the family sphere and at every level of society will be other focuses.

The new President will pursue AIDS prevention, which he still sees as a priority. At the international level, Mr Hollande wants to develop initiatives in order to fight all types of LGBT-phobia in developing countries and facilitate access to AIDS treatments worldwide. Hollande is also willing to provide political asylum to LGBT people prosecuted in their countries because of their sexual orientation.

Hollande and the Trans people

Finally, a President wants to take Transgender people into consideration. Hollande intends to launch a new policy of medical and psychological caring after discussing with Transgender organizations. He is also willing to create a law allowing Transgender people to legally change their identity whether they physically transitioned or not.

Read the Q&A between François Hollande and the representatives of the organization Homosexualités et Socialisme (HES) (.pdf). Unfortunately, only a French version is available.

Video of Hollande’s commitments to LGBT people (in French):

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Passed on Monday, The Protection of Freedoms Act allows an estimated 16,000 gay and bisexual men, convicted of ‘loitering with intent’ under Section 4 of the Vagrancy Act 1824, to have their convictions erased. 

Stonewall, who was pushing for the action, said that many men in the UK had been prevented from working and volunteering because of their convictions, but now they will be free to offer their services.

The organisation had campaigned for changes to the Protection of Freedoms Act. And, in March 2011, received Parliamentary backing. Stonewall also lobbied the Home Secretary to stretch the act to include the removal of future malicious convictions.

Many would see this a step in the right direction.

‘The future for British children’

Britain First, however, has a very different perspective. According to an article on their website, the new law makes for a pedophile’s charter, where people could perform illegal sexual acts in the hope that some day they will be made legal and their convictions would be erased.

Describing themselves as ‘a responsible patriotic political movement’, the organisation marks the new legislation as a danger to children.

Throughout recent history, the age of consent for gay sex has been dropping. From 21 in 1969, to 18 in 1994, the legal age of consent for gays in the UK now stands equal to straight consent at 16.

The folks over at Britain First take this to another level (on another planet), arguing that with this ideology, the age of consent could be brought even lower. Under their reasoning, people previously seen as pedophiles, could have their criminal records removed as part of the new law.

Playing the victim

The concept of equality seems to be absent from their reasoning. The age of consent was lowered to 16 so as to provide an equality between gay and straight consent.

How could I forget, all gay people are pedophiles.

Reading the comments below the article, I got a quick sharp snapshot at their readership.

Chris;  “I understand the motorway speed limit is to be raised to 80mph later this year. Presumably not just homosexuals, but all of us, will have our points retrospectively deleted from our licenses and our insurance premiums reduced accordingly. As for being deported to Australia for stealing a loaf of bread, imagine all the compensation claims being lined up!”

Of course, the increase of the speed limit couldn’t be anything to do with the increase in road and car safety. Who’d want to do 80mph in an Audi 5000?

Or another comment; “Yes, they are undermining everything this nation was built upon, causing confusion, so no one knows what’s what anymore, so the nation collapses.”

Please, before 1928, women weren’t allowed to vote unless they were over 30 and met certain property requirements, and even those women weren’t allowed to vote until 1918. Should this law not have been repealed?

When it comes to gay rights there’s a strong pidgeon-holing of the gays as ‘playing the victim’. This is very evident in the article and its comments.

It really shouldn’t be a big deal for the LGBTQ community to achieve equality without all of this petty backstabbing.

But there we are, 2012.

Image courtesy of www.holland.com 

Angeline Pirara Mwafulirwa and her children were forcibly removed from their home in Glasgow

Angeline is claiming asylum on the grounds of her sexuality, like many other lesbian and bisexual women who flee their homes in hope of refuge in the UK from a myriad of discrimation and danger they may encounter at home. And yet our government send them home, time and time again, with the message: Be Discreet.

Be discreet? Seriously? I don’t know about you, but my sexuality is much more than just the sex of the person I am attracted to. It influences everything I do. My politics, the television I watch, the newspapers I read, even the shoes on my feet. Discretion does not mean do not hold your girlfriend’s hand in public, it means do not be yourself.

I remember those few years between realising I was gay and telling my family and friends as incredibly isolating and lonely. I was slamming doors and crying myself to sleep, and no one knew why. I was in love with my best friend and I was confused. I couldn’t quite admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. I can’t even comprehend a situation where I wouldn’t be allowed to tell anyone else, for fear of imprisonment, violence or even death. An all too familiar situation for lesbian and bisexual women like Angeline who have been refused asylum in this country and others like it.

Lord Hope said in a 2010 Supreme Court ruling that: “to compel a homosexual person to pretend that his sexuality does not exist or suppress his behavior by which to manifest himself is to deny his fundamental right to be who he is” and still, we don’t talk about protecting the rights of asylum seekers. We don’t talk about immigration at all, as if it’s a dirty word, infecting our mouths with some kind of liberal disease. The mainstream political parties cower to the will of public opinion, refusing to speak positively about immigration issues incase it loses them votes. Incase it alienates their core support. Well you know what? If your core support refuse a safe haven for a woman and her children who are danger because she is attracted to other women, then that’s a core support I don’t want.

Oh yes, that’s right. They come over here, they steal our women, our jobs and our flat screen televisions. I forgot. Instead of talking about the danger that these ‘criminals’ pose to us, why don’t we talk about the danger that these people are fleeing from? With the summer and Pride season almost upon us, whilst you’re dusting off your rainbow flags or planning your Civil Partnership, the sobering reality is this: homosexuality remains illegal in over 80 countries worldwide and is punishable by death in countries like Sudan, Mauritania and Saudi Arabia. Not to mention all the places where the law might have changed, but social attitudes haven’t. Discrimination goes well beyond prosecution. We’re talking humiliation, violence and inequality not only by state officials, but in communities. In families. So many people who have no one to stand up for them or laws to protect them. We don’t know how lucky we are.

The Home Secretary promised two years ago to stop the removal of people whose sexual orientation or gender identity put them at ‘proven’ risk of imprisonment, torture or execution. There have been several high profile cases that have highlighted the problems that people like Angeline face in Malawi, including imprisonment, police violence and exclusion from housing and health services. Angeline fears her children will be taken away by her ex-husband and says she’s scared they are in danger of female genital mutilation at the hands of his family. That’s clearly not enough proof for Teresa May and the Home Office.

Of course, there will be people like May who don’t believe Angeline’s story. A comment under one article said: “’LGBT” – she’s having a laugh – three kids and she’s now claiming LGBT (lol)’” and others who think that she and Waverley Care—an HIV charity that she volunteers for—are lying in a bid to defame Malawi.

For me, it’s not about whether or not Angeline is telling the truth. What is far more important, in my eyes, is our unwillingness to help. All she wants is a safe place to raise her children and the freedom to be who she is without fear of persecution. I feel so lucky to live in a place where my rights are protected, where I can have my relationship recognised by law, where I could serve in the army and adopt a child, if I wanted to. And I want those things for Angeline and her family, and all of those women who are in the same situation but aren’t fortunate enough to have their stories believed. Of the 19,804 applications made for asylum in 2011, more than half were refused. I don’t think even the most hardened cynic could believe they were all lying.

I’ve no doubt that Malawi and countries like it will soon realise that, as Hilary Clinton put it, gay rights are human rights, but until then, we have a responsibility to take care of people like Angeline and her family. It’s not long now until London plays host to World Pride 2012, an event that aims to draw attention to countries where being gay is still illegal and give those who can’t march safely at home an opportunity to do that on our streets. Let’s hope that sentiment lasts a little longer than the British Summer.

Frankie hit the road in last night’s episode. She’s off to New York, although she packed at such speed she’s likely to find herself in the Big Apple with one shoe, no trousers and approximately 300 blurry close up shots of Cat’s naked bum. Not really ideal given the fact she doesn’t have any money. Maybe she can trade the photos for food… wait, no, it’s ok. She doesn’t eat.

With her departure, we’re left with the strangest flat share since Bert and Ernie decided to shack up with Lady Gaga.

On the left, we have Lexy. Attractive, a little dull (probably because she seems normal compared to the others) and Australian, although she’s somehow wangled a job as a doctor instead of traditional bar work. Fair dinkum to her.

On the right, there’s recently bereaved Tess, who only stops crying long enough to do something hilariously dizzy, then remembers she’s sad again and starts weeping into her herbal tea selection.

And then there’s Cleopatra-haired Sadie, who seems to have stepped out of a 1970s sitcom set in the East End of London where she played a sarcastic spinster, or possibly a pub landlady. Louche, sturdy and resilient, she’s got a lot of depth but an accent that means it’s virtually impossible to take her seriously.

Welcome to Big Brother 2012: Lesbian edition.

But this odd line up could be good. Great, even. It clears the playing field for some new interactions and while it’ll be hard on fans to see the back of Frankie – even temporarily – it immediately allowed the series to get back to what it does best: sex. Lovely, lovely sex.

Come on, let’s all admit it – we don’t watch Lip Service for the plot: it’s thinner than Ruta Gedmintas. We want to see a 70s landlady taking an Italian tourist from behind in a mess of preserves, cream and assorted condiments.

The boob prints were a particularly nice touch.

However, we’re not out of the woods yet: there’s still the looming spectre of Cat. No, not literally – this isn’t Most Haunted – although ghostliness is probably coming naturally to her given she was paler and more miserable looking than Casper the Friendly Ghost’s emo cousin while she was alive. Despite everyone’s keenness to get back to normal, we still have to pay lip service (see what I did there?) to her death.

Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy as the reactions of the characters can be summed up as follows:

• Frankie: Self indulgent, whiny and miserable. She’ll fit in well in New York.
• Lexy: Quite happy, as Cat’s death means she might have a shot with Sam.
• Sadie: Not bothered.
• Lexy’s Gay Male Doctor Friend: Not bothered.
• Ed: Incredibly, deeply bothered, apart from when horrible women hit on him. Then not bothered.
• Tess: Incredibly, deeply bothered, apart from where the plot demands she do something amusing, like vandalising a theatrical poster. Then not bothered.
• Sam: Largely fine, until she suddenly starts having an impromptu panic attack/orgasm when smelling Cat’s pillow or going for a run.

This mixed bag of opinions and varying levels of bereavement meant the episode felt a bit unbalanced at times. Focussing on Sadie’s sexploits with tourists and magazine editors helped, but the contrast between the merry japes of the less affected characters and the traumatised reactions of the others meant the whole thing was a bit confusing:

“Hey, that’s hot! I feel quite turned on… oh no, they’ve cut to a close up of someone weeping.”

It’s like gay aversion therapy. Maybe this series was paid for by religious fundamentalists.

However, Tess’s mood seems to be brightening thanks to her fantastic new friend Hugh, played by the excellent Stuart McQuarrie. And surly, sad faced Frankie has taken a hike for a while, which means the series might perk up a bit and we won’t feel like we’re sitting though a training video for LGBT grief counsellors.

So long, Frankie: you’re fired. Can’t wait to watch your exit interview on BBC2 with Dara o’Briain.

Conundrum of the Week: Don’t you need a green card to work in the US, or do they waive their notoriously strict residential visa requirements for depressed lesbians? If so, I’m moving to Florida right now.

5) “It’s just a phase”

Most of us, at one stage in our lives, have been told that our liking of girls is nothing more than a “Phase we will grow out of”. No, no generally it’s not a phase. In a world still filled with taboo and stigma surrounding the LGBT community, the fact people even come out suggests it’s a bit more than a phase.

Dying your hair bright red can be considered a phase. Or choosing, at the grand old age of 60, to shave your head, change your name to bobbyboo and join an all-girl rock group… that can be a phase. Yes, a poorly chosen one, but a phase all the same.

4) “Have you ever been with a man?”

Girls, have you ever been with a woman? And boys, have you ever been with a man? This one speaks for itself in that you don’t have to have tried everything to know what you want.

Granted, if you’ve never tried a banana, how do you know it doesn’t taste nice? But then, is it really all about the taste? Sometimes you’re just so happy with your orange that you really have no interest in delving into other areas of the fruit bowl. Have you ever been with a parrot to find out whether you may or may not have a fetish for an odd type of bestiality?

3) “You just haven’t found the right man”

Yes, yes you got us this time. We haven’t found the right man. And until men start to have the correct genitals and the same genetic makeup as women; I think we’ll be spending the majority of our lives having never “found the right man”.

2) “Can I watch?”

Hmmm, correct me if I’m wrong, but last time I checked, a lesbian was someone who liked women. Correct me, again, if I’m wrong, but a man definitely isn’t a woman. Just because we, like heterosexual men, share the common ground that we’re both into women, doesn’t mean we should club together and enjoy it together.

Don’t ask if you can join in. Don’t ask if you can watch. We’re lesbians, not porn stars. Shall we ask you if we can sit and watch your wife in bed? No, because it’s weird and creepy; and for the record, it’s still weird and creepy when you men do it.

1) “You don’t look like a lesbian, you’re so pretty.”

There’s not a definitive guide for “how to be a lesbian”, no catalogue of clothing attire one should wear as a lesbian. Yes, there are archetypal items that seem to be generic for lesbians to have. But one doesn’t need to “look like a lesbian” in order to be one. They come in all shapes and sizes.

Secondly, “you’re so pretty?” What does this have to do with whether one is a lesbian or not? It’s similar to saying “you do medicine at university? But you’re so pretty”. Our beauty isn’t reserved for the men of this world. That is definitely not a compliment. Being a lesbian is all about having a love for women, not an aversion to men.

There are many things one can say to annoy a lesbian, but these five have got to be amongst the worst. Unless anyone can think of any I’ve missed?