April 5, 2013

IconGay Marriage Destroys the World (again)

In a week when yet another absurd comment has been made about the possible outcome of the gay marriage bill, Lesbilicious looks into the crystal ball of those who oppose this legislation, to try to imagine the future they see taking shape if it is passed…


5th April 2020

Marriage Mayhem!

The world has hit crisis point.  Very few people saw this coming, but our lives as we know them are teetering on the brink of destruction.  A humanity which has survived wars, famines and diseases, has been brought to its knees by a homosexual scourge.

We should have heeded the warnings; now it’s too late.

Since the legalisation of same sex marriage in England, Wales and the US some years ago, the planet has been awash with misery and deprivation.  But how has it come to this? Here we catalogue a timeline of, perhaps at the time seemingly meaningless events, showing how they have combined to form a recipe for disaster:

Men holding hands: clearly a sign of malicious intent

October 2012: The Daily Mail reported 2 cases of good, Christian folk who had been “entrapped” by gays and had suffered as a result; one man had been demoted and fined for making a homophobic comment on Twitter, whilst the other was a B&B owner who had been fined for refusing to allow two men to share a double bed in her establishment.  At the time this was written off by many as justice for those displaying homophobic behaviour…but not for long.  In the same month, 3 years later, the situation had got so bad that it was ruled illegal for anyone heterosexual to have a job, just in case they used their position to behave in a homophobic manner.  Bisexuals could only work part-time.  Relying on their LGBT friends for handouts as the ‘nanny state’ benefits system was stripped back, the vast majority of straight people fell into extreme poverty.

Legal document or lethal weapon?

 Christmas 2012: In his Christmas message, Pope Benedict XVI denounced gay marriage, stating that the idea was an “attack” on the ‘traditional’ family.  At the time, many left-wing fanatics rubbished his claims.  However, little did we realise that, less than 2 years later, after legislation had been passed in England and Wales to allow ‘marriage’ to occur between gays, these newly married ‘couples’ actually did begin to attack traditional families.  No mother, father or 2.4 child was safe walking down the street, as rampaging homosexuals randomly attacked them, beating them sometimes half to death with their newly acquired marriage certificates.  Some victims suffered head wounds caused by the heavier, better quality certificates, whereas others had to endure painful paper cuts.  Legal document turned weapon, the government ordered an immediate amnesty on all marriage certificates, deeming them too unsafe to be left in public hands.

April 2013: Actor Jeremy Irons stated that same sex marriage would lead to wealthy fathers marrying their sons in order to avoid paying inheritance tax.  Naturally, most passed this concern off as the ramblings of a mad-man.  However, the year the bill was passed, Whitehall announced a £100 billion loss in revenue due to fathers scrambling to marry their male offspring in a desperate bid to avoid losing cash.  As peer of the realm Lord Winalot told us, “Of course there has been a great deal of emotional damage caused to my son by being married to his father.  Not to mention the damage caused to his reputation amongst the local girls in the village.  But that pales into insignificance when you think of all the money we’ve saved.”

So, there you have it.  The gays have taken over.  The ‘pink disease’, as it has come to be known, has spread like a plague throughout our towns and cities, leaving the heterosexual community an ignored and undervalued minority.  The curse of a liberal, democratic society.

 A fiction…

Naturally, this is a fiction.  But it’s a fiction born of some very real, very concerning comments from influential figures from all walks of life.  Of course, most of the time the media blow them up to be more than they are, but that in itself is a problem as opinions are formed and minds are made up on the basis of over-inflated, hate-filled rubbish.  When writing this article, there were so many ridiculous comments that had been made about gay marriage and lifestyles that it was impossible to include all of them and hard to know which ones to pick; I guess I’m just sick of hearing them.  It’s hurtful and it’s unnecessary.  By all means, have your own opinion, but at least make it an informed opinion.

 The majority of people understand that gay people don’t want to be treated any better than anyone else (and nor, for that matter, do we want to take over the world).  All we want is equality.  The equality to live and love and work alongside every other human being, with the shared similarity of living on earth together and enough understanding that any differences between us don’t make a difference to how we treat one another.  A utopian idea, isn’t it?







5 Responses to Gay Marriage Destroys the World (again)

  1. Mia says:

    Brilliant article–humorous and thought-provoking. Well written.

  2. Sam says:

    Man at first I kinda skimmed it and thought u where saying these things as truth and was going to rip into you then i realized and was so relived

  3. Anya says:

    I have to say this is a brilliant article. A little too much like the random rambling conversations I have with my friends! However, I fear that I still know people who believe that one day we will destroy the Earth so I have decided to retaliate to such ignorance by telling them “you are entitled to your opinion but I still love you, despite the fact you’re an idiot!”

Sue Curley


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