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Music makes you gay. I’m sorry to be the one who has to break it to you, writes Bianca Camminga, we don’t even really know each other, but you best come to terms with the fact because it’s pretty much widely known and accepted.

I’m not just talking disco here people, there is a list and it is long. In censorship circles this little known factoid is actually often referred to as the ‘truth’. I understand it may be hard for you to take, I also struggled initially, but you’ll come round.

‘Censorship’: it sounds dirty, and well, it kind of is. LGBT people have had a long, often uncomfortable, yet interesting history with the term. For decades there has been a fear about how ‘gay gets in’. The usual suspects are sourced from popular culture – and they can usually dance and sing.

Lady Gaga’s latest offering, ‘Telephone’ is just the tip of the iceberg really. Sandy Rios, President of the Culture Campaign and Fox News Contributor had this to say: “Gaga and Beyoncé gay lesbian lovers? It’s disgusting… this is poison for the minds of our kids. And our minds.”

And that’s their point right there; this music should be censored because it has the power to contaminate and influence. As the organisation, Love God’s Way‘, puts it: “music can tempt your children into deviant practices they would not have been exposed to previously”.

The website for this esteemed organisation lists all the names of, what they call, Gateway Bands (the aural equivalent of marijuana, the gateway drug): “They lure children in with Pop Grooves and Salacious Melodies leaving them wanting more.”

The list of ‘Gateway Bands’ is extensive (and up to date!). Some notables include SlipKnot (due to their make-up wearing), Vampire Weekend, The Fleet Foxes, Pink and Metallica. Love God’s Way even tells you what to do if you find any of these in your child’s music collection:

“We Strongly recommend that you burn the CDs. Make sure your child is watching. Make sure they can feel the heat. It is crucial that the image remains emblazoned in their young minds”

Because that’s not going to disturb them at all.

I’m sure you won’t find it hard to believe that there has been a groundswell of support for this cause. But it doesn’t take an outspoken Christian extremist to make sure something doesn’t make it to the airwaves, often just one nerd on a rampage will do.

A case in point is Adele’s ‘Chasing Pavements’, which was banned in some US states because it was assumed to be a queer pick-up anthem.

According to Adele: “Some weirdo on the net wrote that ‘Chasing Pavements’ was about being gay, which isn’t true at all. Because of that some radio stations in the States wouldn’t play it.”

Anti-anti-gay censorship

There are, of course, two sides to the censorship coin. In 2004 Brighton councillors called on HMV, Virgin Megastore and MVC to stop selling albums with homophobic content in their Brighton and Hove branches.

Councillor Simon Williams argued that, because Brighton is regarded as the gay capital of England, it is their duty to take a stand against music considered inflammatory to LGBT people. Interestingly, a representative for HMV noted “By giving retailers responsibility for that choice, you are encouraging them to make subjective decisions and encouraging censorship. This could set a dangerous precedent.”

A dangerous precedent indeed, the number of songs censored or banned completely for ‘sexual’ (read ‘homosexual/ lesbian’) content is phenomenal. In the 1980s, the song ‘High School Confidential’ by Rough Trade was banned throughout Canada for lyrics that openly suggested lesbianism.

Probably one of the most famous censorship cases of all time was Madonna’s ‘Justify My Love’. The first single from her 1990s greatest hits compilation, The Immaculate Collection, is widely believed to have gotten its MTV ban for its lesbian content and images of fetish wear. Madonna was outraged but ultimately the video single went on to be the highest selling video single of all time.

Evidently, censorship doesn’t always achieve what it sets out to. Again Lady Gaga springs to mind (that seems to be happening a lot lately). It was widely reported that MTV were going to ban the video and then they released a press statement denying that they had ever intended to do so. Why would they ban it really? A channel, with a peak viewership of only around 4 million, can’t feasibly boot off a video which, on its first day of release, was watched 15 million times worldwide.

Thinking about it, we should eternally be grateful because, if those folks at Love God’s Way are right, the moment Gaga, Honey Bee and their Pussy Wagon took to our screens and ‘Telephone’ went viral, we just got 15 million on the path to life-long committed gayness.

Need to renew your deviant queer credentials? Watch Lady Gaga’s / Beyonce’s ‘banned’ Telephone video:

Posted in: Exclusives, Music, Sex & Relationships |