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“hey there…i just wanted to ask you a question…i’m a new lesbian and i want to know how to have sex with another girl…could you possibly give me step to step guide lines to follow, maybe even tell me how i can make love to her online? if you could help that would be great!! you would be my life saver!!!!!” Anon

You’re a ‘new’ lesbian? How new?

This is an important question because I don’t know how much of the obvious I need to be stating here. Assuming you are very new, here is a quick run down, in American style ‘bases’ as to what your future may hold…

• First base: kissing, holding hands, cuddling
• Second Base: No, not moving in with each other! Touching, feeling, mutual masturbation, fingering
• Third base: Oral sex; one on one at any one time
• Fourth base: strap-on sex, 69, fisting, anal
• Home run: orgasm!

(These bases are definitely a subject for debate by the way)

Realistically though, I can’t tell you how to have sex with another girl, because everyone is different, everyone likes different things, and to complicate things, people often like different things from different people. That’s why sex is always about communication. Sleeping with someone for the first time is always nerve wracking because you have never communicated with that person in that way before. So be patient, be open-minded and don’t be too shy.

The other thing to be aware of is that you are at an advantage here… you are a girl… she is a girl… what you like may be a clue as to what she likes! A lot of the same rules apply with lesbian sex as with straight sex. No matter what you are doing, confidence is hot hot hot. So I repeat, do not be shy. Why not try telling her what you want or asking her what she wants – this can be quite a good ‘ice-breaker’ if you get a bit stuck. It can also be extremely hot because lets face it, although everybody would like to be considered ‘amazing’ in bed – no one is a mind reader!

Assuming that you know what the other person wants and/or likes can be quite off putting… and can even come across as a little inconsiderate (speaking from experience here!). Confident, verbal communication early on can be a great way to help you both feel a bit more comfortable and relaxed during those slightly awkward earlier moments.

Tell her what you want and ask her what she wants. Tell her what feels good and ask her what feels good. There are also other non-verbal give-away signals to tell you if she is enjoying what you are doing… is she wet? Does it sound like she is having fun? Is she hinting at you with her body at all, e.g. pulling away because she wants you to be more gentle?

You might find it useful to get your hands on a good book. There are hundreds of helpful guides on lesbian sex out there, but a good place to start might be The whole lesbian sex book, Box Lunch: the layperson’s guide to cunninglingus or Lesbian sex 101: 101 lesbian lovemaking positions.

Once you get all the face to face stuff worked out I am sure the online sex will come to you naturally!

Enjoy!

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