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“Dear Sappho. I have been with my partner for five years. She is a lot older than me which has never been a problem, but I feel I have grown in a different direction to her. She hasn’t really changed in the time we have been together, but I have. I’m not sure she is aware of this and I am scared of hurting her as she has been hurt a lot in the past.” Torn, 25, Scotland

It is never easy breaking up with someone you care about.  Irrespective of age we all change and grow throughout our lives, some more than others. In a relationship it is sometimes easy to slip into patterns that involve compromising who you are and what you choose to do.  If this compromise is too great it is unlikely you will be able to sustain your relationship indefinitely.

If you have been compromising to please your partner and for the sake of your relationship then she may indeed not be aware that you have changed. You may even find that she has also been holding back for the same reason.

Ultimately you both deserve to live your lives happily and you need to talk to each other about what this means to you. If you then find that you want different things from life then maybe it is time to move on.

Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.

Posted in: Sex & Relationships |