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Dear Sappho. I didn’t ever think I would do this but I had sex with two people at the same time… two girls. I really like both of them but I feel really odd about what has happened and feel I may have destroyed my chances with either of them… Do you think I could have a relationship with someone who I have done that with? Deb, 28, Sheffield

Woah, Deb, what are you trying to do!? Which one of them are you interested in having a relationship with? Sounds like you don’t know or even care!

Assuming one of them is special, and you are considering something longer term, it will only work if the threesome hasn’t left any jealousies or other insecurities in the mix. Is the third party still around? If so, would their existence cause problems? Do you and your potential partner want the same things – i.e. monogamy or openness to more polyamory?

In some relationships, if one person has had more adventurous experiences than the other, it can cause insecurity. So on the plus side, at least you will have shared this very intimate experience with your partner.

Ultimately, it comes down to your personal boundaries. Can you handle what has happened? It seems you have shocked yourself. And given your apparent confusion about who you want to be with maybe you should be considering a bit of ‘you time’.

Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.

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