Say it to Sappho: I am being made to lie about my friend’s affair
June 11th, 2009 by Sappho
“Dear Sappho. One of my friends is being unfaithful to another one of my friends. I wish I didn’t know about it but I do and it is really bad being in this position. I feel as bad as if I were the one being unfaithful. When she finds out she will probably feel like I’m that awful too. What do you think I should do?” Anon, 22, Manchester
It sounds to me like there is one particularly naughty person in this equation and it really isn’t you. The person who has put you in this position is the one who should be taking the majority of the responsibility for the consequences of her actions.
Your responsibility is to yourself. Be the best person you can be in the situation. My advice would be to talk to the naughty friend and tell her that you feel it is unfair that you have been put in this position. Tell her that you aren’t going to tell her girlfriend anything - not because you don’t think she should know - but because you think it is something she should do herself.
She needs to understand that the girl who is being betrayed is going to feel even worse if she feels that other people around her have been a part of the lies. The truth always comes out and she might find that being in control of how that happens will be better for everyone - especially herself. People make mistakes but dragging other people into a whole realm of secrecy and lies is more than just a mistake. It’s selfish and it’s stupid.
Do you have a sex or relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk
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