Say it to Sappho: I don’t love her - I love her family
March 5th, 2010 by Sappho
“Dear Sappho. I have fallen out of love with my partner but I can’t leave her family. I don’t really get on with my family. I see them out of duty but her family are great and I would feel lost without them. I love spending time with my partner too but I’m not sure whether I would feel the same if it was just me and her. I have not been unfaithful but I catch myself looking at other women when we are out and sex is just routine now. Do you think it is wrong to stay with her?” Anon, London
Given your own family relationships it is understandable that you crave the acceptance and love you get from your partner’s family. However, if this is the only reason you are with her then I am sure you know that this is unfair to your partner.
Your partner is investing in a dishonest relationship and at some point she is going to get hurt. If this happens I can’t imagine that her family are going to be particularly impressed with you either.
Try spending some time with your partner alone. If you are really sure she is not the one for you then you must tell her. It may be that you can remain friends and that you can still enjoy the company of her and her family.
By staying in a relationship that isn’t right, not only are you stopping your partner from moving on and having a truly wonderful and fulfilling relationship - you are denying yourself the same thing.
Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.
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