Say it to Sappho: I like her but not the cats
April 15th, 2010 by Sappho
“Dear Sappho my new girlfriend’s cats are driving me mad! She is a very caring person and was single for a long time before we met. I think she transferred her loving nature onto taking in every waif and stray passing!! When I go to her house I feel really tense as I don’t know what is going to jump out at me and her house is a mess. She is reluctant to spend much time at mine as she does not like to leave them for too long. I really like her but I’m not sure I can deal with the whole family!” Anon, Cheshire
Your girlfriend is obviously a very caring person and her cats have given her an outlet for expressing love. With this in mind she will probably view the cats as a richly important part of her life. It is unlikely that she is going to give this up and I am sure you appreciate that it wouldn’t be fair to ask her to do so. After all the cats were there first.
You have mentioned that she was single for some time before meeting you. Be open to the possibility that she will grow less dependent on ‘cat company’ over time and will invest more of that caring nature into human interactions, i.e. with you.
It is not unreasonable for you to let her know if you are uncomfortable in her space. Be sensitive to her feelings when telling her how you feel. It may be that you will have learn to make room in your relationship for her pets. It may be that she needs to keep a tidier pad, where you can feel more comfortable, if she wants you to spend more time there.
Having pets is a lifestyle. You need to decide if you can take that on. You both need to be honest about how you feel in relation to this because if you don’t you will leave room for future resentment.
Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.
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