Say it to Sappho: I’m losing her to drugs
February 5th, 2010
“Dear Sappho I feel like I am losing my girlfriend to drugs. We have been together just over a year and I always accepted that she took the odd pill and that with her friends. I’ve never been interested and just let her get on with it, but it is starting to interfere with our relationship. She is lovely most of the time but I find her quite annoying when she is off her head. I am thinking about our future and I hope she will maybe grow out of it but I don’t want to be oppressive. Can you offer any advice?” Anon
You need to let your girlfriend know how you are affected by her drug taking.
It is best to get your facts together before approaching her, especially if you want to avoid her feeling that you are trying to control her or being oppressive. You can find a lot of information online. FRANK is a good source of current information around drugs, their effects and health risks. You will probably need to be ready to give specific examples of when she has used drugs and it has had a negative affect on you.
She may choose to quit without much persuasion, but you cannot rely on this. Most drugs are addictive and are not easy to leave behind - especially if she has been depending on them for other reasons (e.g. for confidence or to deal with depression). However, she may not feel that she has a problem - you being annoyed by her might not be a good enough reason for her to stop doing something she enjoys.
If she does feel that drugs are detrimental to her and her relationships and decides she wants to quit, she may need some support. Look for local services and take advantage of the support available.
Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.
Mmm, not the easiest of things to advise on, but i’ve been in a similar situation. I found it sooo hard to find a way to say what i felt needed saying, but when i eventually did it worked out OK. Be honest about your feelings with her, ask her not to do it round you, it worked for me, and still is!
MsSox84 ∼ February 12th, 2010 9:40 pmGood Luck ;-)