Say it to Sappho: I’m second place to a pooch
November 6th, 2009
“Dear Sappho. I have just moved in with my girlfriend. It was meant to be a dream move but it hasn’t turned out that way. She has two dogs and I feel like I am being put second to them all the time. They are always demanding attention. We don’t get any time to ourselves - there is always a dog sat there on her lap, the sofa, bed, one of them even follows me into the toilet. Don’t get me wrong I like dogs but I thought I was moving in with my partner as a partner, not as fourth member of the pack. It’s not like I can ask her to dump the dogs. What should I do?” Gail, 36, Hove
I am going to assume that you knew these dogs existed before you moved in together. In which case I am going to have to be blunt and tell you that you are being an idiot.
What exactly did you think was going to change by you moving in together? Did you think she would throw them off her lap, sofa, bed, etc and let you take their spot? You see, that wouldn’t happen because that would make you a dog.
You needed to establish yourself as her partner and as an alpha in the household. Instead you have focused on competing for her attention with a pair of pooches. You are also failing to recognise that the attention she gives to the dogs is actually a very different kind of attention to what you (should) want.
She might be offended if you voice your feelings about this but it is something you have to talk about. You have all got to live together. You need to know what your place is and she either needs to reassure you or confirm your worst fears. It is better to know.
Everyone knows you can’t get between a dyke and her dogs. Seriously.
Do you have a sex or relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location
i disagree with the above comment. me and the GF have 4 dogs and whilst i agree we shouldnt have the same needs the dogs do, the Pack needs to be shown that the GF has a higher priority than them. It works for them - that is how a pack works - it also works for the GF - cos that is how a couple works. Think about the dynamics of becoming the partner of someone with children - it is very similar (just a lot less complex or important)
s ∼ November 17th, 2009 3:15 pm