Say it to Sappho: My girlfriend is a scene whore
June 13th, 2008 by Sappho
Hi Sappho. I’ve got a problem, well actually its my gfriend who’s got the problem. She’s always out on the scene, and I mean ALWAYS!!!
it’s a few nights a week EVERY week. it really bugs me that shes out all the time chattin up girls, - and whateva else!!! she usually comes home eventually but she’ll be pissed and we usually end up arguing. sometimes she doesnt come back and she says she sleeps on her mates sofa, but i think their shagging. should I break up with her??? JS, London
Should you break up with her? No. Should she break up with you? Definitely!
Do you two even like each other anymore? It’s ok to have different interests - some ladies love going out on the scene, and others love staying in and knitting - but it looks like she’s just going out to escape from you.
From what you’ve written, you don’t have any evidence to back up your suspicions that she’s chatting girls up. If she was doing that all the time like you think, don’t you think word would’ve got back to you by now? You must know other people out on the scene who see her.
Ditto for your suspicions that she’s sleeping with her friend. You’ve automatically gone for the most extreme reason why she’s not coming home, without considering that maybe she stays at her friend’s because she knows she’s going to get hell from her jealous, possessive girlfriend when she gets in.
So if you want to stay with this girl, you need to take a long hard look at how you treat her. Give her a reason to want to spend time with you, and don’t jump to the worst conclusions when she wants to spend time apart.
I could be wrong, and maybe she is cheating on you, but it looks to me like you’re the one with the problem, not her.
Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.
I would argue that you are probably right to feel insecure. Sounds like she is taking the piss out of you and Sappho seems to be asking you to not expect the worst and think positive. There is a stereotype that girls are more faithful than boys etc… if it was a bloke behaving like this what would we all think? You do need to get a grip though - why ask anyone else what to do about this - it’s simple - don’t live with things that make you unhappy.
cheated ∼ June 13th, 2008 11:04 pmOmg! Sappho??? That’s an aweful thing to say that it’s her problem not her girl friends! Huni, if she goes out knowing it’ll upset you, she doesn’t respect you! You sound so unhappy! And i totally agree, if you are unhappy, then fix it. The best relationships are based on trust and comittment, and if you don’t trust her then why stay? And it’s really important that you have lots in common; my girlfriend and I both prefer to stay in together, and we wouldn’t work if we wanted and prefered different things. If you don’t trust her, and are so unhappy, don’t wait to find out the worst. Talk to her, and if communication fails, then end it, and find someone who makes you happier.
Emma ∼ June 20th, 2008 7:26 am