Say it to Sappho: She came home with a ‘bruise’ on her neck
September 24th, 2009 by Sappho
“Dear Sappho. My girlfriend was hanging out with some friends at one of their houses and when I saw her next she had a love bite on her neck - but she says it is a bruise. I asked how she got it and she said that they were just messing around. I don’t trust her and she seemed nervous when trying to explain. Stuff hasn’t been great for a while and we are kind of on a break at the moment but it still hurts to think that the bruise is a love bite from someone else. It is chewing me up and I can’t stop thinking about it. What should I do?” Lisa, 22, Lancaster
The issues around your relationship are more significant than the incident with the ‘bruise’. If you don’t make sense of your relationship, you won’t make sense of your reaction to the ‘bruise’.
You are on a break at the moment. You are still having contact with each other. Even though you are on a break, it is obviously still expected that you explain your actions to each other.
What exactly is the purpose of being on a break? I don’t want to sound harsh, because you are obviously struggling with closing this relationship, but you need need to know that this is exactly what you are doing - in a very messy manner.
It sounds to me as though you both know your relationship isn’t working and that is why you are on a break. However, neither of you are ready at this stage to end the relationship fully, either because you are scared you are going to hurt the other person or because you can’t bear the thought of them being with someone else.
You are on a break. If the bruise is actually a love bite, how will you feel? Would you want to be with her despite knowing this? Or would the break continue? Or would you be more likely to have a real, clean break?
You need to be with her because you want to be with her; not because you don’t want her to be with someone else.
Do you have a sex or relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.
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