Say it to Sappho: She thinks kissing other people is okay
January 22nd, 2010 by Sappho
“Dear Sappho my girlfriend thinks kissing other people is OK. I kind of agree in principle and I don’t think she is being dishonest or unfaithful, but I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with her kissing her friends. I have tried to talk to her about it but she just says that I am paranoid. Am I being over sensitive?” Clare, Notts
You are entitled to acknowledge your feelings even if they seem to contradict your principles.
If you ignore your emotions they can often get confused or amplified resulting in behaviour or feelings that are not good for you such as stress, low self esteem, irritability and jealousy.
It doesn’t sound like your partner understands the effect her behaviour is having on you . You need to make it clear to her and hopefully she will respect you enough to consider what you are telling her.
If your partner is willing to risk your relationship by continuing to kiss other people then the ball is in your court. You need to decide what is best for you - that could be changing the way you feel so that you can continue in this relationship, or it could be walking away. Only you can know what is right for you.
Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.
This kind of ‘openess’ in a relationship works for some people when it’s agreed on. Some people have open relationships where they can sleep with other people. This works for some people but no for quite a high majority. I know for myself, my partner and all my friends that none of us would be happy with their partner kissing someone else. It would be seen as a kind of cheating and discussions wold be had on what was lacking int he relationship for them to feel the need to do that.
What I’m trying to say is that your feelings are perfectly normal and it is her behaviour whichis somewhat unusual. It works for some though, just maybe not for you. Like sappho said you need to talk.
bex ∼ January 22nd, 2010 12:34 pm