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“Dear Sappho. This is the first time I have been single in a very long time. I met a woman in a bar who I have been texting. We are going to go on a date. I have absolutely no idea what to do with her. But because I know this area better the pressure is on me to find something good for us to do. I don’t wanna feel judged on my choice and I don’t want to spend too much money. Seriously, what do lesbians do these days? Me and my ex used to just eat at home a lot or go to the pictures. Thanks.” Jamie, 32, Newcastle upon Tyne

If you are honestly this concerned about getting it wrong why don’t you just ask the woman what she wants to do. Give her a couple of options and use your interpersonal skills to gauge what she might enjoy more.

I have done a brief survey to suss out ‘what lesbians do these days’ and here is the top 5:

1) ‘Meet for coffee’ scored extremely high. In the past this may have been seen as a sophisticated and intelligent way to conduct a date. Now I think it is just a great way to find out what you have in common before embarking on more exciting adventures. ‘Meet for a pint’ would fit nicely here too (I have never heard lesbians say they met for ‘half a pint’ - ever).

2) Have sex. This only scored 0.5 points less than ‘meet for coffee’. Another fool-proof way to work out if there is enough between you to justify spending money in future on expensive meals and gig tickets. Obviously, I would only encourage safer sex which you actually want, and you aren’t just doing for the sake of it. You have to live with the memories and the newly created links in the universal lesbian web of who has slept with who.

3) The scene. For some reason, many lesbians like to meet up where they first met. My opinion is that this is out of a fear similar to yours Jamie - that they are so scared of choosing the wrong thing to do that they go for the safest bet - ’she must like it, she was there when I met her!’. Little do you know, she hates the place and was just looking for some sex, hence point 2.

4) Art exhibitions are also popular amongst ladies who love ladies. They are a step up from going to the cinema (which is blatantly common unless you are in an old-style cinema watching a lesbian cult classic/something French, Swedish or Mexican) and a step down from a poetry reading (which would have come in at number 6 if I wanted to go that far…shame).

5) Ikea. This is not a joke. Supposedly they do great vegetarian hot dogs for 49p. This is an opportunity to establish if you have vaguely similar taste in interiors as well as assessing your potential partner’s DIY skill level.

I hope this has helped. I personally like to take my women to the Turkish baths and make them sweat. But that’s another story. Good luck with your date.

Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho’s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.

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