July 26, 2010

IconWould you pay for lesbian sex?

Friday night. You’re lusty and lonely so you pick up your phone, scroll past the takeaways and order an escort. A couple of hours later a woman comes to your house. You pay her, have sex with her, and she leaves.

No gay bars, no pick up lines, no undisclosed expectations – just sex, for cash. As a lesbian or bisexual woman would you do this? Could you do this? Would you pay another woman to have sex with you?

Prostitution is, famously, the oldest occupation. But whether it’s been women or men selling a good time, it’s invariably been men who were buying – they, after all, were historically the only ones with the money and power to do so.

In 21st century Britain wealthy women – of which there are a considerable number – have the means too. So women may now have the cash, but do they have the desire and the emotional capacity to buy sex?

Amelia Ramirez certainly thinks so. She herself wanted to have sex with a woman and was willing to pay for the experience, but just couldn’t find anywhere to do so. Spotting a gap in the market, she set up Sirens, a lesbian and bisexual escort agency.

“I looked, but there was nothing for me,” explained Amelia. “I thought there must be hundreds of other women in London who are curious about having a sexual experience with another woman and don’t know how to go about it.”

Genuine lesbian escorts

There are plenty of escort agencies available, of course – any London phonebox can tell you that. But what was missing for Amelia was a place to meet genuinely lesbian or bisexual women.

“A lot of those girls who claim to be bi aren’t bi at all,” says Amelia. “You’re not really getting a full experience. To pay for someone who’s faking is defeating the purpose – it’s a farce really. I didn’t feel at all comfortable going to those fake bi girls.”

But does the sexuality of the escort really matter? Whether it’s a straight woman faking an attraction to you or a lesbian woman faking an attraction to you, it’s still sex based on a lie.

For Amelia, the real issue is not the emotional connection but the physical. After all, if you’re paying for a service you expect a certain level of skill and experience. Skill and experience which are in short supply, in fact – Sirens is recruiting.

“This is so new that it’s proving difficult to find women to work for us”, Amelia admits. Sirens has a few bi girls on the books already but Amelia wants more bona fide lesbians: “girly girls, boy-types – we want all kinds.”

For legal reasons Sirens offers an introductory service only – what may or may not happen from that point is up to the women involved to arrange themselves. But for women willing to read between the unsubtle lines the money can be very good: “Experienced girls – the ‘model’ types – can expect to earn around £300 an hour for house calls. The more ‘girl next door’ types will charge about £150 an hour.”

Satisfying bi-curiousity

Perhaps the reason why there are no escort agencies for lesbians is that there just isn’t a culture of paying for sex in the lesbian community. Embarrassment, shame, guilt: there’s a lot of negative feelings and perceptions to overcome before this could ever approach the mainstream. It’s something that Amelia has certainly considered.

“I don’t know if ordinary lesbian women will take to it,” she admits. “But for bi-curious women I wholeheartedly think it will work.

“Women who have heterosexual relationships but who want an experience with another women – they’re not going to go to gay bars or dating sites. They’re not looking for a relationship, they just want to try sex with a women. We see this as an easy avenue for women to explore their sexuality.”

8 Responses to Would you pay for lesbian sex?

  1. Malene says:

    Ooohh… Never considered that!

    I’m thinking, it should be easier for them to get women, than a normal escort service. There must be less risks involved, in the sense of deceases and violence. Not saying it is eradicated, just that it would be less present.

    I like the concept! (but that is probably my own double standard kicking in, because I generally oppose to prostitution, and I always watch skeptically, when women say they are happy with their job.) Wow, the thoughts are floading in here… What if my own “sense of needs” leads me to ignore my own usual skepsis?

    Or is it different, when it’s “women only”?

  2. MFR says:

    A very interesting subject which throws up many questions. In all honesty, yes, paying for sex with a woman is something I might consider if it were financially viable. Despite being out for 5 years, having a lovely network of les and bi friends and being an outspoken bi activist, I hit a wall when it comes to actually dating women. Being bi and femme, I find the scene and dating sites very intimidating and women I’ve met in this way have tended to look askance at my inexperience, sometimes quite intrusively and hurtfully so. Essentially, I face the same stigma within the lesbian community that a heterosexual virgin past student age faces. That said, I’m fully aware that paying for sex has its own implications for self-worth, not to mention the reasons that propel women to sell sex. If I see a problem with lesbian escort agencies, it’s that the mainstream media is beginning to latch onto them as a convenient way for women to get the sexual satisfaction men can’t provide, which conveniently absolves men of responsibility in their relationships, and perpetuates the idea that bi women only ever want women for casual sex.

  3. Juicy says:

    Malene, if you’d like to date me then send me an email ;-)

  4. Sheila says:

    Some years back I was without a partner on a business trip in Malta. I was eating dinner in the hotel in Valetta on the second night and shared a table with another woman. We fell to chatting about all sorts and she with very little prompting told me that she was a ‘working girl’ who liked to entertain other women when possible.
    It did not take long for me to decide that it would be nice to experiment. So off to my room and she and I spent the night together very pleasantly indeed. I paid her for her time and that seemed perfectly reasonable to both of us.
    Since then I have been back to Valetta several times and repeated the experience. I find it very relaxing and delightful to have a partner I like and can rely on when away from my normal haunts. The payment side is almost incidental.

  5. Nikki says:

    I pay for sex with another lady from time to time. I agree, there are definitely some ladies who are ‘more bi’ then others and those who are gay for pay leave me feeling quite cold and empty afterwards

  6. jude says:

    I do aromatherapy and bring my clients to almost the point, i get paid for that,if it went further it would just be an extension of the massage, a very professional service with a 100% satisfaction given, before care and after care provided if any emotional issues arrise during treatment, there is nothing wrong in paying for this, it is much better than a one night stand with someone you are not sure of, tantric massage and yoni massage for instance is great, i offer the full works, but i see it as a nuturing tharaputic treatment, great care is taken, as others have said and like myself i am not at all gay, but there is a lot to be had from a sensual woman touch that mayeb your husband/b-friend can not give.
    my services are available to all women.

  7. amanda says:

    if i had my way we would have lesbian brothels in this country.mmm i can imagine the thrill of visiting one,seeing all the girls lined up for inspection,waiting for some horny female client to choose one of them.aside from that,if this was regulated properly,with health screening etc i’m sure thousands of women would visit a lesbian brothel to satisfy their urges towards other girls.and i think a lot more women than is admitted secretly itch to make love with another woman even if they have to pay for the pleasure.

  8. Kira says:

    I have someone in San Diego who works exclusively with women performing massage. She is worth flying in for sometime if you do not live around here. Email me for contact info. Thanks : )

Milly Shaw


Shit straight girls say to lesbians

The lesbian version of the ‘shit girls say…’ meme that’s been doing the rounds.

April 17, 2012