April 27, 2009
The 13 most lesbilicious sci-fi characters on TV
I am a massive geek, writes Rosie Kirk. I own an Xbox 360, a PS3 and I built my own PC. I don’t wear square glasses and I never got into role playing (no, not the bedroom kind of role-playing, the other kind. Wikipedia it) but I programme code by day and watch sci-fi by night. I am therefore a total nerd and thus qualified to present to you the 13 most lesbilicious sci-fi characters on TV or film. Enjoy.
While compiling this list I noticed a fairly obvious trend. The basic requirements for being a hot woman in science fiction seem to be a vest top (‘tank top’ for our American friends), a gun and motorcycle boots. Extra lesbilicious points can also be earned with a leather coat / trousers, brunette hair, and a scowl.
Aeryn ticks most of those boxes, and she’s also got wonderful coolness to her. Sadly that starts to vanish when she gets a boyfriend and baby, turning her from a kick-ass soldier into a rather more boring wife and mother.
Trinity also scores pretty high on the Lesbilicious-o-meter.
It’s a shame then that she went from being a super hardcore fighter in the first film, to just Neo’s girlfriend by the second film, to dead in the third film. Bad move.
As terminators go, the TX isn’t necessarily the scariest or most efficient. She isn’t even the hottest (more on that later).
The TX is, however, played by a real-life lesbilicious lady – the openly bisexual Kristanna Loken, who is also in Season 4 of The L Word – and for this reason she makes it on to the list.
I have a confession to make. I only went to the cinema to see the third Underworld movie for one reason: Selene, aka the vampire played by Kate Beckinsale.
Did I know that Selene was barely in the movie before I went? Yes. Was the film universally slated? Yes. Was it worth it anyway? Yes.
The show Xena: Warrior Princess is 14 years old now. Doesn’t that make you feel old. But despite this, Xena is and always will be a lesbian classic.
Yeah she’s a beautiful warrior running around in a silly leather skirt, but the real reason to watch, as any queerling knows, is the ‘are they aren’t they’ subtext between Xena and her trusty sidekick Gabrielle. Dig out your boxsets and re-live that pseudo ancient Greek subtext.
Leela is a space pilot who is smart and gets stuff done. She also wears a vest.
So what if she’s only gone one eye or is, technically, a cartoon?
Another 90s sci-fi classic: Buffy. Not that we ever watched it for Buffy of course – Willow was always the thinking lesbian’s choice.
She was cute, she was smart, and she was a big geek too. Not only that, she became one of TV’s only genuine, long-term lesbians when she got with Tara. Willow we heart you.
Cameron is a terminator, but she’s one of the good ones that protects the Connors. Well, usually.
She’s a robot so technically it’s a bit weird to have a crush on her, but John Connor does too so it’s ok. She also wears leather trousers and fights a lot.
What is it with pretty lady-machines?
As any Star Trek fan knows, Seven of Nine is half-machine, lending her a cold, authoritative air that is almost devoid of emotion. Shouldn’t be attractive, but is.
Martha breaks the usual rules by being the side-kick to the hero – a fatal mistake, as usually the only way to be a sci fi lesbian icon is to be the hero or the villain. Oh, and wear a vest. Did we cover that before?
Well it’s not Martha’s show, and she doesn’t wear vests. BUT she’s smart and she makes it clear that she can cope just fine without the Doctor. Plus she’s a doctor herself. And with that she earns her place on this list.
Faith is the bad vampire killer. She’s the wise-cracking, vampire-ass-kicking leather-clad bad girl who isn’t ashamed of having a sexual appetite.
In other words, Faith is the perfect alternative to focus on in Buffy when Willow is being a bit too drippy.
The original Sarah Connor from the Terminator films of the late 80s / early 90s (Linda Hamilton) was instantly a big hit with lesbians for all the obvious reasons (vests, guns, attitude) plus one important extra factor: she had amazing arms.
The current Sarah Connor (Lena Headey) may not have the muscle but she makes up for with her perfect brooding frown – used whenever she’s thinking about the impending apocalypse. Which is often. She also wears a rather excellent pair of boots.
The most Lesbilicious sci-fi icon of all time is of course Ripley. She’s tough, she fights, she shaves her head, she wears vests and she gets grubby.
And, in gratitude, thousands of women across the world named their pets after her.
And there we have it. The 13 most Lesbilicious women in science fiction – mostly strong women in vests who are fighters not prizes.
Did we get it right? Any Lesbilicious ladies that should be on the list? Tell us in the comments…
The Sanctity of Marriage – 5 second film
Brilliant 5 second masterpiece by 5 Second Films: “They want to take our rights away? Well we want to ‘splode their heads!” Went one of the less-successful pro-gay rights protest chants.
September 21, 2012